The Girl You Left Behind
by katemarie01
Summary: To the world he was Edward Cullen: Hollywood IT Boy. To me, he was my ex boyfriend and to him I was just the girl he left behind. Rated M for Mature Content and Language and future lemons .
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: This is just something that kind of came into my mind one day. If you are reading my other story, I am not abandoning it! I have the next chapter completed and will be editing it sometime this week. This story, is actually almost completed, lol. I wrote this very fast because it would not get out of my head! **_

_**I own nothing related to Twilight…those belong to Stephenie Meyer. **_

"…_and in Entertainment News for your March 10th weekend, Edward Cullen and Kate Denali romance…confirmed? We guess so, according to on-set fight director Demetri Colmere, who recently told US Weekly that the two have been together since the filming of the second installment of the Dave Baxter series -."_

I turned it off before it went into how epic their love was and how no two people had ever been more right for another than those two. Because in reality? The tabloids drove me crazy with their on-set reports and sources. It has been two years since Edward Cullen has become a household name and there was no where I could go to escape it. I thought maybe since _Dave Baxter and the Prisoner at Melbourne Bay _had been in theaters – theaters I now carefully avoided – this shit would die down until they began filming the third movie in June.

But no. I was forced to basically live like a Monk. And maybe it was a good thing because not watching TV or perusing the internet allowed me to have much more free time to actually do my homework and have a social life.

Kind of. I mean, I couldn't even take the L without hearing idle gossip about the two biggest stars of the biggest franchise our generation has seen. You would think being on a train on a Monday morning at nine a.m. in March would allow some peace and quiet, but I forgot it was a teacher's holiday and the teens were out in batches to soak up what were the beginnings of Spring in Chicago.

And of course having a yahoo email account brought me to the first page every day with new gossip about the two love birds and what city they were shacking up in next. I couldn't even go on CNN without seeing something about them on the front page like they were God's answers to the War on Terror.

See, I'm not totally crazy. I'm not like…someone who is a huge super fan of Edward and hates the fact that he is with her. Not at all and in fact, I try and avoid everything remotely Edward Cullen related. I haven't seen the movies or paid attention to the rumors. When I see a girl – or guy – wearing a t-shirt with his name or face on it, I just bite my lip and walk the other way. When I go home and see tabloids sitting on our coffee table – staring me in the face – I walk past them. I don't watch tv, hardly go on the computer anymore, and whenever his name comes up in real life – I change the subject.

They say time heals all wounds? Well it's really hard to heal wounds when the face of your ex boyfriend is staring you in the face everywhere you look.

**Let me know what you guys think! Do you like the idea? This also isn't made to offend anyone! I'm just playing up costar rumors which happen to all famous celebs!**

**This first chapter is way smaller than the other ones, I just needed it out there to get the ball rolling!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Twilight is owned by Stephenie Meyer...I'm just stealing her characters.**

**Thanks everyone for your reviews and putting me on alert! *kisses***

**Now...a little more back story...**

"So Bells…how is class going?" Charlie pulled out the chair in front of me and sat down, joining me for breakfast.

"It's going well," I mused, drinking my orange juice. "One more year and I'll be done."

"Your mom and I are very proud of you, honey," Charlie beamed up at me.

"We sure are, darling," Renee swooped into the kitchen giving Charlie and I both a big kiss on the cheek before making herself a cup of coffee.

"I know it's been difficult and you fell a bit behind when you got back from Europe…" Charlie trailed off.

"I know, but, you know, it's a hard program at a hard school and so what if I'm the oldest person in my undergraduate class?"

"Oh honey," Renee dismissed. "You're not the oldest person. You're only 23 for Godsakes and you know what if it takes you til you're thirty to graduate, then so be it. We love having you home, baby."

She started patting my hair and rubbing my head and being all affectionate. Empty Nest Syndrome, perhaps.

Most parents would have been utterly pissed that their daughter fucked around her first two years of college, but my parents were new age parents, I guess, and never really gave me a hard time about it.

Five – almost six – years ago I started school at the University of Illinois – down in Champagne – Urbana. My second semester I got a new roommate assignment – Rosalie Hale – because my first roommate got pregnant and was forced to move back home.

If you ever knew anything about Rose is that she lived her life extravagantly. She was rich as hell – dad was old money, mom was new money – and beautiful and smart. Within the first week of knowing her she convinced me it would be the best experience of my life to go study abroad with her that following September in England.

I had apprehensions – like the fact that I didn't come from a rich family like her or that I was still only a freshman. But, as ever, Rosalie found ways to soothe every worry I had. The cost of the trip would be the same as tuition for one semester and I always had the summer to save up as much money as possible. The rest? Rose would take care of it. Because that is what she did. She and I met and clicked instantly and she was like the sister I never had.

So in August of my sophomore year instead of returning back to school, I was on a plane to spend the fall semester at the University of London. I only was enrolled in three classes – the point of the experience, my academic adviser had told me, was to experience the culture of Europe and not be bogged down with classes.

My parents weren't too thrilled I was living out of the country at only nineteen years old, but I had taken out loans in my own name for this trip and was going with a close friend so there wasn't really much they could do.

Rose and I had only been in town for only two days when I met him. Sitting in the pub beneath our flat and trying to blend in, I made eye contact with him from across the room and knew I was done for.

"_Rose?" _I remember I had told her. _"You see that guy over there? In the black beanie and Stoli t-shirt? I'm going to marry him one day."_

"_Oookay, Bella," _Rose patted my arm. _"This couldn't possibly be the pint of Guinness you downed talking."_

She continued giggling to herself and making comments about how drunk we were and how she loved London, but it was all background noise to me. I must have stared at him for five minutes before he came to our table and offered to buy us another pint of beer.

That was August 14, 2005 and from that moment on, he and I were inseparable. He was a year older than I was and taking time off of school to do a play on London's West End. He was born and raised in London, but when he was fourteen his father got a job offer at Cedar's Sinai Hospital in Los Angeles and he went to high school in the States.

But as soon as he graduated he moved back to London. He enrolled at Oxford and quickly realized studying English Literature wasn't something he wanted to do with his life. So instead he took small roles in plays and some acting gigs – which upon telling Renee made her giggle like a school girl – and lived with his mates in London.

In December of 2005, I took a taxi with Rosalie to Heathrow airport and watched her get on a plane to go back home. I was able to score a six month internship with the London Reporter from January to June and prolong my stay in London. After dropping Rose off, I went straight to my flat, packed up everything I had and moved in with Edward.

Looking back I wish I didn't have such a free spirited mother or a father who was a pushover who gave the two ladies in his life everything they wanted.

But I couldn't bring myself to regret the two and a half years I spent with Edward Cullen. Because he was my boyfriend, my best friend, my protector, my life. And even at 21, when I found myself sitting on my parents front porch trying to explain myself, I could never regret the decisions I had made.

To my parents' credit, they went easy on me. I knew it wasn't easy for them to see me drop out of school to move to Los Angeles so he could make it big. After almost a year in London, my student visa expired and I had to either transfer or go home.

So we went home. Not to Chicago, of course. Not even back to the University of Illinois. We went to Los Angeles to be near his family and lived in some shitty apartment on the not so good side. We had basically no money – I hadn't worked at all during my duration in London and the small stipend from the newspaper was spent on food and rent (and booze) there in the UK. The money he got from his run playing the Phantom in Phanton of the Opera paid for the first few months rent buying us time to find jobs or enroll in school. We chose the former. His father, Carlisle, found me work at the hospital doing reception work in the ICU. I worked days and Edward worked nights at various clubs playing piano.

We didn't make enough money and I couldn't ask my parents for money while he didn't _want to _ask his. I don't even remember the times I lied to him and told him I got bonuses or that I was granted overtime hours, just so we could pay our rent when in all actuality Rosalie and my older brother Emmett helped us out. On top of rent, because I was no longer in school, I had to start paying my student loans back. My parents tried to help me with my car payments and car insurance payments, but they finally put their foot down because I had broken the stipulation that they would pay as long as I was enrolled at least half time in school. We had bills - lots of them and we weren't making it.

I was at the point where I should have been suffocating – stressed all the time with little money and absolutely no friends or family on the west coast. I wasn't living the life I had wanted for myself even though at that point I wasn't so sure what that was anymore. I always wanted to be a journalist - working for some magazine. When I was younger it was always Seventeen, then it moved onto Glamour. Then as I became an adult, I always wanted to work for Time Magazine. But, I reasoned with myself, people change. I had changed so much in ten short years that clearly I could change again. I don't think it's fair to have an early twenty-something decide their career path right away with no guidance or life experience and I was beginning to realize why people often went back to school to change their career path.

This is what comforted me. This is what prevented me from being miserable. Because I should have been. But I was always happy. Because I had Edward. And while we didn't have much – we had each other. Girls in my Women's Lib class would shoot daggers at my head if they ever heard me say that.

"Bells," my dad started bringing me out of my thoughts. "People…get sidetracked. We make mistakes, do stupid things, think we're going to live forever…"he trailed off, gesturing wildly into the air to make his point.

"Yeah," I muttered quietly into my food.

"Oh honey…" my mother has said that five times this morning. Its what she says when she has nothing of significance to say.

"Ok, no more: 'oh honey's!'." I stood from my chair. "I'm going to miss the red line if we continue down memory lane."

I got up and cleared my plate in the sink before storming out of my kitchen leaving two very concerned parents on edge.

"Spring Break is next week," Angela mused from where she was currently lounging in the student Union.

I arched a brow in response, urging her to go on.

"We could take an impromptu trip somewhere?" she began tapping her chin. "If we take Southwest out of Midway, I bet tickets to like Arizona or California would be cheap!"

I froze and swallowed thickly before responding.

"Angela, I owe my brother, like, $3000. He'd murder me if I spent money on a trip to California!" I lied. While I did owe my brother money, he kept telling me not to worry about it. Which made me more on edge because it made me want to prove I could be a responsible adult and pay him back. I know it wasn't exactly feasible for a student to make that much money, but every dime I made working at my part time job went into the "Pay Emmett and Rosalie" fund.

"Why do you owe your brother that much money?" Angela's eyes popped out of her head.

Oh, right. I forgot that our entire friendship was based on a lie.

See, Angela and most of my new found friends thought I spent the last two years in England studying…not gallivanting around Los Angeles while my boyfriend was finding his big break. No one at the UIC knew I dated or even knew Edward Cullen. And I intended to keep it that way for so many reasons. When you don't have a Facebook its easy to keep personal photos from leaking off the internet.

"Oh, um," _think Bella, think! _"My dog needed surgery a couple years ago and it cost $3000 and I couldn't afford it, so he helped me out."

"Aww, Emmett's so nice," Angela sighed.

"Yeah," I could feel tears forming in my eyes. "My brother is an amazing guy."

Before this turned into an all out blubber fest, I decided to change the subject.

"So, did you do anything this weekend? I texted you Saturday, but I didn't hear back from you."

"Sorry about that. Ben and I went to go see that Dave Baxter movie," Angela replied and I internally groaned. "I saw your call, but I got home late and forgot about it. You're not mad are you?"

_Only at myself for opening this can of worms._

"Of course not. I just had a question about the Chem homework. I momentarily forgot not everyone is a booknerd like I am."

"Oh, did you ever figure it out?" when I nodded she continued. "Bella, the movie was adorable. Even Ben liked it and he's a guy. I might go see it again this weekend with my cousin…come join us?"

"You're seeing it again?"

"Yeah…I like to spot things I've missed the first time," she bit her lip and looked at me. "Plus, I have a totally normal 22 year old crush on Edward Cullen ok? Sue me."

I wish I could. I wish I could sue every girl who lusted after him and put them in jail so his movies would stop making money and I wouldn't have to see his face mocking me from bus stops all across Chicago.

"Nah, I'm not into paranormal movies." I shrugged.

"It's not _paranormal, _Bella. The girl in the movie can morph into different entities and that's how she helps track down criminals. It's really actually cool, cause she'll be like I want to be a butterfly – POOF – she is one."

_Please stop talking about Kate Denali._

"Oh," I replied lamely.

"She's really pretty. Like superly pretty, but I guess you have to be in Hollywood. I'm jealous of her hair," Angela prattled on, picking at her own hair, which in my eyes looked fine.

"It's probably not even hers," I joked. I knew it wasn't. I had seen her get her hair done on set.

"No, you're right. It's probably not, but when you have more money than God, you can walk into any salon in the world and get hair like she has," Angela sighed.

"Yeah," I, again, replied lamely.

"They got so much to do these movies," Angela was on a roll now. "I mean, I heard the filmed movie number two in six weeks and they got like the pay Angelina gets."

I didn't respond and this gave her the initiative to continue speaking.

"I mean, they're OUR age. I think she's actually 21 and he's 23, but -."

"24," I accidentally interrupted her.

"What?" She looked confused.

"I um read somewhere Edward Cullen is 24. About to be 25. In June,"

She gave me a sly smile. "Is one Miss Isabella M. Swan a secret Edward Cullen fan?"

"Hardly." I playfully rolled my eyes.

"Anyway, they're in our generation, right? And make so much money. It's like, Dear UIC…BRB, going to become an actor," Angela giggled to herself, hand in the air like she was constructing a letter.

"DID YOU LOVE IT?" Jessica Stanley plopped down in the middle of us and focused all her attention on Angela. Her loud shriek gained us some glares, but she ignored them.

"I did!" Angela squealed back. "I was just telling Bella about it."

_Oh for the love of God._

"I went with Mike and he cried – CRIED – when Dave proposed to Katherine! The ring was ugly though," Jessica made a face.

"I know! I was like 'OMG, Dave Baxter is rich as hell and he buys her a Cracker Jax ring."

"It was his mother's whose last dying wish was that he marry her. Remember in the first one when the evil man captures-"

"I gotta go guys," I interrupted them, trying to make my escape. "Call me for dinner or something?"

Both girls nodded and I walked off to my next class – which didn't begin for another forty minutes.

There was a slight rap on my door before my mother stuck her head inside. "Bella?"

I smiled warmly. I had really missed my parents. I don't think anyone could have lucked out with a better family than me.

"Yeah, come in mom." I cleared off my bed where my Chemistry book was lying and I patted it softly for her to join me.

"Honey," she worried her lip between her teeth. "Don't be mad."

"About…?" I arched a brow at her.

"Daddy and I think…well, since your back on our insurance now that you're in school full time…and you know your dad gets really good insurance from the City of Chicago…they include mental health services," she said quickly.

"You think I need to go to a mental health hospital?" I spat incredously.

"No!" she waved her hands in front of her. "But, there's a therapist that your Aunt Mary went to when she went through her divorce with Uncle Kenneth. Her name is Dr. Waters and she specializes in relationships."

"Mom," I grabbed her shoulder softly and looked in her eyes. "Edward and I broke up almost two years ago. I'm fine."

"Bella," she sighed. "You never go out anymore. You stay home and study and don't make time for anyone. Honey, that poor boy Jake has been dying to take you out. You should let him."

"Mom, I stay home and study all the time because I. NEED. TO. GRADUATE. I spent two years fucking up and being an idiot. I want to move on with my life."

"You can do well in school and have a life. And you do…I mean, you have Rosalie and Angela and Jessica, but I want more for you."

"Mom, what am I going to say to a therapist? Hi, my name is Bella Swan…you know that huge movie star Edward Cullen? Well, about five years ago he was pretty much a hot hobo living in London who I met while studying abroad and we moved to LA together and I pretty much supported him because he's a really talented piano player, but LA is expensive and oh yeah, my best friend and my brother ended up paying my rent half the time because even though his parents were insanely rich, he had too much pride to ask…so here I am taking out student loans for my last two years with a $5000 debt between two people held under my head, while he made Forbes list for one of the highest earners _period _last year," I said in one breath while my mom looked at me curiously.

"Oh and yeah, so, Dr. Waters, like I broke up with him because I was getting so paranoid at all the rumors surrounding him and his costar. Oh and because I never saw him because they filmed on location in Miami and I tried to be strong and not quit my job because no one knew how big this movie would do and I didn't want to risk not having a job… but I didn't really want to break up with him. I just was trying to use reverse psychology and be dramatic and basically he hates my guts and accused me of never really loving him and that I was the last person he imagined leaving him."

"Something like that," Renee responded wide eyed. "Think about it, sweetheart."

She patted my knee and stood up quickly. Probably feared impending doom or something. I didn't notice her lingering in my door jamb until she spoke up.

"Bella?" she nervously rubbed her leg against her opposite calf. "You know I'm here if you ever want to talk, right? Your dad, too. It's just I'm worried and I tried to give you space, but it's been two years, honey."

"I know, mom. I love you." I tried to give her a genuine smile.

She slightly nodded. "I love you, too, Bella."

So, that's how I ended up seeing Dr. Waters two times a month. My parents were shitting bricks I was going to jump off the nearest cliff, my brother was actually getting annoyed I was sending him checks every other paycheck, and my friends were about to set up an intervention. It was almost May and I hadn't gone out with them since New Years and that was a quick appearance thing. I ended up going home before the ball dropped.

I think Dr. Waters thought I was lying until I brought in photographic evidence. You could literally see her shoulders relax with relief when I provided proof I wasn't making this up. Like, I didn't date him in my head and that's really why I was in therapy. Because my parents thought I was crazy and delusional.

"So, Bella," Dr. Waters cleared her throat. "Last time we spoke, you were going to write Edward a letter expressing your feelings, but of course, not send it. Have you done that?"

"Yep!" I pulled out the 32 page long letter and held it up victoriously making Dr. Waters' eyes go wide.

"Well, dear, I didn't expect a letter quite so long," she took the pages from my hand. "Wow, front _and _back."

I just looked at her sheepishly.

"Would you like to read from it? Perhaps it would make you feel better to say these words out loud. You could pretend I'm Edward." She offered. I nodded in compliance and carefully took the letter back from her.

"Dear Edward," I began. "It's been a little over two years since I last spoke to you. Actually, it's been twenty five months, sixteen days, three hours and ten minutes since I last heard your voice. But I can still remember what you said to me and how you made me feel like the previous two and a half years of my life had been a lie. I didn't date a lot in high school. It was kind of hard to with a brother like Emmett watching every boy like a hawk. And I didn't date a lot my freshman year in college either. I think the experience with Bree getting pregnant really scared me straight. But when I met you I knew why I didn't date much. I was waiting for you. I was waiting to find you."

I took a deep breath before continuing.

"The last words you said to me were 'Maybe it's for the best. I could never be with someone who never truly loved me or supported me.' That hurt worse than if you would've broken every bone in my body. The truth is that I loved you more than my own life…that I would have done anything for you. That I kept some things to protect you. I disappointed my parents, my brother, my friends, and most importantly myself in order to be with you. Because you were everything to me. It's been two years and you still are everything to me. I tried calling you some weeks after we split – begging you to take me back. I had everything planned out. I was going to beg you to take me back and apologize for being so jealous of Kate Denali. I should have trusted you. I did trust you, Edward, I knew you would never stray –"

"Bella, it's ok," Dr. Waters was now sitting besides me rubbing my hand soothingly. I shook my head.

"No, I would like to continue. This is therapeutic," I offered a smile through my tears. "Where was I? Oh, here…I know you would never stray. I know I accused you of being a different person...of changing and morphing into someone who _would _stray, but I now know I was wrong. It seems so cliche to say, but it was her I didn't trust. Not you. Because I did trust you... because our love wasn't puppy love or first love or whatever my parents tried to convince me of to make me feel better. What I had with you...people search a lifetime to find it and not everyone gets it. I'm glad that I got to experience it with you. Anyway, your phone was turned off and when I tried calling your mother for your number she simply told me she didn't think it was her place. Alice and Jasper didn't want to meddle, your other friends back home didn't want to either. I even went so far as to call your manager, agent, and publicist, but I never heard back from them. Which I can understand...in just a few weeks time your status had blown up so much they probably thought I was some dumb girl trying to win you back to ride your coattails, but it still hurt considering I had never been anything but nice to them even when they suggested that maybe this 'wasn't the industry for you' and they weren't sure if they wanted to take a chance on you. I was always nice to them and always supported you. You changed your email, deleted your Facebook, and moved so I had no way of contacting you. I'm sure it was to protect yourself from the legions of fans who had all of your contact information and were now showing up wherever you went, but somehow I couldn't help but think it was because of me. Because you were trying to block me out of your life. I spent most of summer 2008 trying to get a hold of you with no avail. My therapist told me to write this letter to you, but not mail it. I laughed in my head that I had no clue where it would even go…"

I stopped and turned to her. Fat tears were streaming down my face, but I gave her a bleary smile.

"I think I'd like to stop here. It gets into more specifics about our relationship which I don't know I can deal with now."

"Bella? Is this helping?" Dr. Watson asked cautiously. I simply shrugged before responding.

"I think I'm getting there."

**Now you know the back story a little. I promise Edward isn't such a dick like some of you think he is! That it's a case of two strong personalities with separate dreams and lots of insecurities. Anyway...please review!**

**See you soon...**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you every one for reading, reviewing, and putting this on alert! I get super excited when you do!**

**I don't have a posting schedule, but I will say I am going to _try _for every week if not every other week. **

**Hope you enjoy the latest installment and oh, yeah...I don't own Twilight...that belongs to Stephenie Meyer. **

* * *

"Thanks for showing me around, Bella," Jake smiled. "I can't believe I've lived here for almost a year and have never been to most of the things the city has to offer."

"No problem, Jake, really," I offered a smile back.

Jacob Black and I were born in the same town. A really small town in the Pacific Northwest where my parents both grew up with Jake's dad, Billy.

When I was five, my dad was promoted to Chief of Police in Seattle and then when I was ten we moved to Chicago where he worked for the City of Chicago. Jake's parents, obviously, remained in Forks, but when Jake got accepted to Northwestern's PhD program, he moved out to Chicago.

And my parents tried to match maker every second they could. Every opportunity they got. Like this one.

When Jake casually mentioned to Renee he had never been to Navy Pier, she offered me to show him around.

Jacob Black was the boy you wanted your daughter to marry. Gorgeous, from a good family, smart, nice…everything that I should want. And I _should _want that, right? I mean, it'd be like a little fairy tale to tell the kiddos one day.

_Mommy and Daddy knew each other when they were little because Grandpa Charlie and Grandpa Billy were best friends. And then Mommy lived in a fantasy land for a couple years, where she thought that love could be enough while Daddy was waiting for her._

Well, I don't know if he _waited _for me. I didn't even think he remembered me, to be honest. We knew each other when we were four and I vaguely remember him and Emmett cutting the hair off my Barbie dolls, but alas it was no epic love.

And even after spending the last few days with him, he wasn't what I wanted. He didn't make my heart sing - as cheesy as it sounds. After almost three months of therapy with Dr. Waters, going on several dates with different guys, and taking up hobbies like painting at the local park center, I was still hung up on Edward Cullen. And I was beginning to really hate myself for it. I was scared I was going to be like 50, never married, and hung up on someone I dated when I was a kid. I didn't want them to find me, half face eaten from one of my seventeen cats, clutching a picture of Edward Cullen to my chest.

Rose told me I never got closure. Dr. Waters told me mourning a relationship could be a lot like mourning the death of a person, especially when you never got to say a proper goodbye. It's officially been two years since we broke up and I hated myself more and more every day for still being hung up on him. The first couple months after we broke up were the worst, though. At least now I can get out of bed and have functional days. In the months after Edward and I split, I basically got up to go to school, work, and eat.

And there _were _days I didn't want to eat. Not even the homemade peanut butter chocolate chip cookies Renee made which sucked because she hardly makes them anymore.

I was a walking zombie and my parents were ready to set up an intervention.

And then steadily, I got better. And then I hated myself for getting better because I was scared I was getting over him. And then I hated myself even more for hating myself for possibly moving on.

Still kind of do.

"So Bella," Jake and I were currently riding the Ferris Wheel. Kind of boring…well _really _boring...and went about a half a mile an hour, but you couldn't come to Navy Pier and NOT go on the Ferris Wheel.

"So Jake," I mimicked.

"What ever happened to you and that Cullen guy?"

I froze.

"Shit, sorry!" Jake slapped his forehead. "I didn't mean to blurt that out…"

"No, it's ok," I fake laughed.

"It's just, your mom and dad were real worried about you. I remember your mom used to call my mom all the time and talk about it."

_Great._

"What did she say?" I grimaced.

"Oh…" Jake sighed. "I don't know. Just asking how to deal with it, you know? My sister Rebecca's husband cheated on he-"

"Edward never cheated on me," I protested.

"That's not why you broke up?" Jake inquired.

"No, Jake. We broke up because I'm crazy and thought he was cheating and or going to cheat on me, but he never did."

"And you believed him?"

"Is it so unbelievable someone would stay loyal to me?" I was kind of offended.

Jake looked guilty. "Sorry, no. No, of course not. I'm just saying...he's a Hollywood hot-shot. You know those types."

"Yeah, well." I muttered to myself, not really knowing what to say.

"So you broke up because you thought he cheated?"

"We broke up because he was never around. We broke up because, although the constant rumors and sightings and sources speaking with the tabloids about him and Kate might not have been true…_back then _they got to me. We broke up because I was jealous of him. We broke up because we were at that weird two year mark anyway that people go through. We broke up because we spent every single solitary moment together for almost two years and when we no longer did – I didn't know how to function," I sighed and looked down. "I broke up with him because I was terrified he'd wake up one day and realize he was dating the plainest girl in the world and that he could do better. I beat him to the chase."

"Bella, you're wonderful," Jake placed his finger under my chin and raised my head to meet his eyes.

"Jake, you don't have to-," I began to protest.

"I'm not doing _anything _Bella." Jake insisted sternly. "You may have broken up with him, but he did nothing to stop you. He loses."

"He tried," I defended. He had tried to stop me, but I don't think either one of our pride's could step aside.

"He didn't try hard enough," Jake scoffed. "Holy shit, Bella, if you were my girl I would've searched the Seven Seas to get you back."

I laughed uncomfortably. Being the center of attention is not something I enjoyed and getting compliments made me flush crimson.

"You're sweet, Jake," I smiled.

He smiled back.

By this time the Ferris Wheel was slowly approaching a stop and I breathed out a sigh of relief.

"Sorry for all this heavy stuff, Jake."

"Sorry for bringing it up." He shrugged sheepishly.

"Hey, if you promise never to bring up Edward Cullen again, I'll buy you a slice of pizza?" I compromised as we were walking back to the main building.

"Deal."

* * *

"_Coming up at 4 o'clock, new information on the Lindsay Lohan drug bust, an in depth interview with Marissa from 'The Bachelorette', and exclusive NEW information about Edward and Kate's romantic Carribean getaway! Only here on -."_

"They have to play this shit while I'm watching the news?" my father huffed in frustration.

"It's a commercial for one of the gossip shows, dad," I offered.

I just rolled my eyes and continued writing my paper for my English Literature class. The joy of not graduating on time came summer school. So while everyone was enjoying the beach and sun in the middle of July, I was inside watching the news with my dad. It was okay because I had school in the morning and worked most evenings allowing virtually no time to think about Edward Cullen.

Plus, I never tanned, anyway.

"Oh Bella?" Renee pranced into the living room.

"Yes?"

"I spoke with Mrs. Black today, honey. She said Jake has been talking about you non-stop!" Renee clasped her hands together like this was the best piece of information she'd ever received.

"He's a nice boy, Bells," my traitor father agreed.

"Jake is really nice," I agreed and looked at two hopeful faces. "And he'll make some girl a great husband one day."

"Bella…maybe you should give it a chance. You did that whole 'can't live without you thing' and it didn't work out, maybe it's best to just…"

"Settle?" I finished for my father incredulously.

"Not _settle_…" he looked at my mother for help.

"Bella, what we mean is, maybe through time you'll learn to love Jake. Maybe what you had with Edward wasn't love, maybe it was infatuation?"

"It was love," I protested vehemently.

"And look at where that got you," my dad huffed.

"Charlie…" Renee warned him.

"No, dad's right. Love fucked me over."

"Isabella Marie, language!"

"Sorry, mom."

Renee nodded her head in acceptance before continuing. "All I'm saying is that sometimes it's nice to be friends with someone first. This is real life, honey. Not a fairy tale...you know...I get it. I know what it's like to be a girl and a hopeless romantic, but you live and learn and move on."

"So you're saying you're still not a hopeless romantic?" Charlie teased, taking a sip of his beer.

"Charlie, please," Renee rolled her eyes. "All I am saying is that when you're our age, other things become more important. You need to create a kind of...partnership, if you will."

"I can't believe you're telling me to settle!" I grabbed my things from where I was seated on the couch and walked out of them room, effectively ending our conversation.

* * *

"Hey Jake, it's Bella," I breathed into the phone.

"Hey Bella. I was just thinking about you!"

"You were?" I asked in surprise.

"Yep. I was telling my roommate, Paul about last week when you almost beat the shit out of that guy for stealing your parking space and I had to restrain you," he chuckled into the phone.

"Oh. Haha," _Fuck I was lame._

"So what do I owe the pleasure?" Jake asked.

"Well, I was wondering if you wanted to come to my friend Jessica's party. With me. Tomorrow night."

"Oh…uh, ye-yeah. That would be good. Great!" Jake squeaked into the phone.

"Great. Pick me up at nine?"

"Absolutely." I could hear him grinning into the phone.

"Perfect. See you tomorrow," I confirmed. As I was pressing the end button, I could see movement in the corner of my eye.

"Who are you seeing tomorrow?" Renee stuck her head in the door.

_Ugh, I need my own place. With, like, prison bars on the windows and doors to prevent eavesdroppers like my mother.  
_

"Jake," I put on a fake smile.

"But everywhere is closed? Who goes sight seeing at night?" she scrunched up her nose.

"You know, mom. I've decided to take your advice. I think I'll give Jake a shot."

"Really?" Her entire face lit up.

"Yeah. I mean, he's a lot better than most of the losers from around here, anyway."

"Oh, this is wonderful!" she rushed into my room and hugged me. "He really adores you, Bella."

"Yeah, yeah."

* * *

"Finally Bella brings a date! We were beginning to get a little worried there, Swan," Mike Newton bellowed as he greeted us at the door. I just roll my eyes. He only says that because, even though he's dating one of my closest friends, he'd still drop everything to get into my pants.

"Uh, Jake Black, this is Mike Newton," I roll my eyes as I introduce the two. "Mike is dating my friend, Jessica."

"Nice to meet you," Jake says as the two shook hands.

Everyone loved Jake. I mean, they really loved him. All of my friends probably like him better than me. I remember one point during the night, Angela and Jessica cornered me and basically threatened to cut off my hoohah if I didn't make things official with Mr. Wonderful.

"_Bella," Jessica sauntered. "Seriously. Jake is perfect and the way he looks at you…"_

"_Yeah, Bella. God, I think I'd be pregnant if Ben ever looked at me like that." Angela cooed dreamily.  
_

"_He's nice, but…"_

"_But what?" Jessica asked, hands on her hips. "He's too nice? He's too pretty? He has just a six pack, not an eight pack?"_

"_Actually, I think he does have an eight pack," I muttered to myself, remembering seeing him lift up his shirt to wipe his brow during this hot July heat. _

_Two mouths just hung open._

"_Irregardless, Isabella Marie," Jessica huffed. "He loves you and you're gonna have cute, smart, brown eyed babies."_

"_Jess, irregardless isn't a word," I corrected. "Plus...he doesn't love me. He hardly knows me."  
_

"_Bella, have you ever had a boyfriend before?" Jessica rolled her eyes._

"_Uh, yeah I have," I replied. _

"_Yeah, that jerk who broke your heart in London, right?" Angela asked sympathetically. _

"_Yeah, but there's more to-"_

_Jessica cut me off. "Listen, you're twenty three, about to be twenty four and you're inexperienced with this whole love thing…just give Jake a chance."_

_Oh, Jess…how wrong you are._

"So, I'm assuming no one knows you dated Cullen?" Jake whispered in my ear as he escorted me out of the apartment.

"How'd you guess?"

"Well, my first inkling was when I walked into Jessica's room to use her bathroom and was nearly assaulted by the Edward Cullen cardboard cut out in her room. I figured friends didn't support the ex-boyfriend of other friends," Jake chuckled quietly while holding the door open for me.

"Oh my God, does she really have one?" I gasped.

"Yep, I thought it was a person and started to apologize for nearly running into it," Jake laughed.

"Oh God," I clutched my head in my hands. "No, no one knows. I wanted to start my life over. I figured paths would never cross considering most of my friends stopped talking to me when I broke up with him, anyway." I spat bitterly.

"All of them?"

"Well, I have Rose. But she was my friend first. All of my friends for those two years were either his family, friends he had first, or mutual friends we met together. I understand it, though. Who would you rather remain friends with after a split? Britney or K-Fed?"

"Britney's kind of crazy and Kevin has all the money," Jake laughed. "But I get your point."

"It's ok. Rose, really, is my only true friend. I love Jess and Ang to death, but I feel like they'd use my past to get connected if they ever found out. If that makes sense."

"But, you two haven't spoken, right?"

"Nope, but never under estimate the power of a fan girl," I chuckled.

It was quiet for a moment before he spoke. "Bella, I really like you."

I realized now we were parked in front of my house and he had shut the engine off. I momentarily looked to see if my parents were peeking through the windows, but they weren't. They trusted Jake and I'm sure at this point, they would've welcomed dry humping in the driveway.

"Thanks, Jake. I really like you, too."

"No, Bella. I _like _you," he ran his hand over his face. "This sounds so-so third grade-ish, but ugh. I think about you a lot. I mean, for the last two months, I've seen you practically every day and I know you think of me as a friend or someone your mom stuck on you...but I want to be more. Jesus, Bella. You're beautiful – so fucking beautiful…smart, funny, nice and I see you're hurt, but sometimes when you're with me I can see a glimpse of who you used to be."

"Jake…"

"Please give me a chance, Bella. Please let me show you a life you deserve. I want to take care of you…"

"_Bella, I want to take care of you. This is why I'm doing this!" Edward yelled. We were in his suite at the Four Seasons Miami in another one of our fights, but at least this was an in person fight._

_I just scoffed._

"_You don't believe me?" He shook my shoulders. Not roughly, because he'd never hurt me, but rough enough to get my attention._

"_You want to take care of me?" I repeated to him._

"_You think that getting harassed by the Paparazzi, having my life broadcast all over the internet, getting scrutinized for everything…is fun? If I could take care of us and future children as an off Broadway actor, I would, but this is our big break, baby. And once the series is over, I won't have to pretend to be someone I'm not."_

"_Our big break? No, it's your big break and just because fame and fortune isn't sunshine and rainbows doesn't give you the right to use me as a crutch."_

"_What? I'm not using you-,"_

"_Yes you are! Oh my life is so horrible! I'm making millions of dollars and making out with hot chicks, but the Paparazzi suck and I'm away from my family and boo hoo hoo, but Bella I'm doing this for you, baby!"_

"_What has gotten into you?"_

"_Do you even miss me when you're gone?"_

"_How the fuck can you ask me that?" at this point he had me trapped between him and the wall, both hands on either side of my face._

"_I call and it goes straight to voice-mail. I text and I get a response hours later, if I'm lucky. You tell me our relationship has to be a secret because you don't want me to get harassed, but I'm not stupid, Edward."_

"_Ok, Bella, please let me know where you're going with this," he mocked._

"_You're cheating on me," I spat._

"_You're out of your fucking mind," he chuckled darkly to himself. "You are really crazy, you know that?"_

"_I'm crazy, I'm nuts, I'm insecure, I'm out of my mind," I repeated sarcastically. "That's not a denial or a confirmation, though, Edward."_

_I moved to get away from him, and possibly throw a shoe at his head, but he stopped me from moving._

_"Ok, how about this?" He took my head in his hands and spoke slowly. "I. Am. Not. Cheating. On. You."_

_"Then why are we keeping our relationship a secret?" I arched a brow.  
_

"_Let's set up a press conference tomorrow, shall we? I'll announce you're my girl and we've been together for two years and I've *gasp* fucked you in more positions than is possible and let's see how much you enjoy your anonymity now. When I say I'm doing this for us, I mean it, Bella. I'm doing it so that you can have the anonymity that I lost."_

"_So we have to live our life in secret then?"_

"_Look, I'm trying to build a name for myself-,"_

"_And having a girlfriend doesn't add into the mix," I finished for him._

"_Technically speaking, yes."_

_I felt like I was slapped in the face._

"_Unless, of course, you're dating Kate Denali," I confirmed and was met with silence._

"_Bella, look. This is as new to you as is it to me. James explained-,"_

"_Fuck James!" _

"_James explained," he repeated before continuing. "The majority of my fans wouldn't take well to me having a girlfriend. Period. It's a little better if they think I'm with Kate, though, because she also has a very big fan base. I can't risk people finding out all of your information on some…some search engine or something and hurting you or saying things to you…"_

"_So you're going to do it, then?" _

"_I…don't know. It's something I wanted to discuss with you. This is why I brought it up, I didn't expect you to like it, but you're seriously blowing this out of proportion…"_

"_Blowing this out of proportion?" I yelled. "You want to discuss it, then? __Well, here it is. Here's our discussion: not on your fucking life will I sit around and watch you pretend to date another girl. At least off screen."_

"_Bella…"_

"_No!" I held my hand up in protest. "What if the roles were reversed? I was 'spotted' holding hands with some guy at a concert or 'canoodling' on set? Just to further my career? News Flash, Edward, you got the part! There's, what? Like…six more movies? You're set!"_

"_This isn't about being set, Bella. This is about my career. I don't want to be known as Dave Baxter forever! The movies will be over by the time I'm 30, ok? I don't want to be an IT Boy who faded into obscurity"_

"_So you want a full blown movie career, then?"_

"_I do."_

"_And you want it more than you want me." It wasn't a question._

"_Of course not," he protested, but I held my hand up again._

"_What about the things I want, Edward? Yes, I might be going through a bit of a quarter – life crisis, but holy shit, I want things for myself, too. I want to go back to school and get a career of my own…or wait? Because it's not a high profile career it's not important?"_

"_Bella, I want those things for you, too. I've asked you a million times to transfer down here and enroll back in school."_

"_They don't have the program I'm interested in here," I threw my hands up. "I've __**told **__you this, Edward. And what happens when you fly off to, like, Canada to film a movie in between and I'm stuck in yet another state alone by myself?"_

"_I won't leave."_

"_That's what you said last time."_

_His face twisted and I almost felt bad. Almost._

"_Look, it's April. The movie will come out in two months and I'll get 10 percent of what the movie made. Apparently, it has a big fan base, so they're projecting it to do over 100-million. Give me two months and we'll buy out our lease, you'll come down here and stay with me…"_

"_Stay with you? Doing what? Living a life of leisure? Being unemployed and uneducated? Uh, I believe they call that a leach and or a Gold Digger, Edward," I spat. "Oh and what happens when the Papparrazi catch us together and run stories about you cheating on America's Sweetheart and your reputation gets tarnished? Plus if I were here, you couldn't fuck both of your girlfriends at the same time."_

"_You need therapy or something," he screamed. "I'm not fucking Kate Denali … it's a business arrangement and that's it."_

"_Whatever. I've seen the Paparazzi pics of you two getting cozy on set."_

"_Cozy on set? It's called acting, Bella. You know, you come to me with problems and I try and find a solution for them…"he muttered to himself. _

"_A solution that is in your best interest, Edward! I want to move home. So bad, but I know you'd never come with me because it doesn't fit into your plan anymore."_

"_Bella," he grabbed my wrist to steady me. "I can't go from starring in films to go back to theater."_

"_Didn't you just say if you could support us doing theater you would?"_

"_It's just not an option, anymore, Bella," he was still grabbing onto my wrist and I violently pulled it back._

"_Do your thing then. Go be Mr. Times 100, fuck Kate Denali under the stars in Hawaii, whatever. I don't care."_

_I began scattering around the room collecting my things._

"_Get the fuck off this Kate Denali thing Bella. I would hope after two years you'd believe me. It's just a PR stunt the movie studio is trying to start."_

_He reached out to grab me, but I slapped his face in defiance._

"_It's hilarious. There's no one I want more than you, Bella and I would never risk what we have for anything in the world. Looking at other girls makes me sick to my stomach and you're picking a huge fight because y__ou think I'm cheating on you?" He screamed at me, rubbing his face where I hit him._

"_I don't know what to think anymore. Maybe it's cause I'm not in the business, but seriously? I don't believe you'd pretend to date Kate if it weren't true." _

_I was tossing things into my suitcase now, not bothering to fold anything or even place it in there neatly. _

"_That's rich, Bella."_

"_I know the Edward Cullen I met two years ago would never stray," I stopped what I was doing to look at him. "This Edward Cullen? I have no idea who the fuck he is. You've changed. Fame and money have changed you and you're not the same person I fell in love with."_

"_If you leave me, then I'll know you never really loved me," he spat back from behind me, but I ignored him._

"_If you leave…if you leave me, it means you never supported me. That the last two years were a lie." He egged on._

_I turned around. "And if you believe I never loved you, then maybe the last two years WERE a lie."_

"_Maybe they were."_

"_I can't believe you just said that."_

"_And I can't believe you run off when there's a bump in the road. You know, most girls would be understanding."_

_I snorted._

"_Most girls would not be understanding," I laughed. _"_In all due time, you'll laugh about this with Kate. Or Britney, Leighton, whoever you end up with. You'll all laugh about that stupid, stupid girl who risked everything to be with you and was slowly pushed out like yesterday's trash."_

"_Why the fuck are you so over dramatic? What the fuck happened to the Bella I once knew? I'm trying to make this…us…work. I want you to move down here. I want you around! If I were straying, why would I want you around? If I were pushing you out of my life…why would I want you to move down here? Regardless of what you think, every decision I make is because of you and what's best for you! I'm sorry if you don't like it, but I'm living for you, Bella Swan. You know, I could explain this all until I'm blue in the face and we would just continue to go in circles. I understand that you're lost and lonely and angry, but I'm trying to make you see the big picture. Right now things suck, I understand that and I wish they didn't, but in a year or two's time…we'll settle down. I'll buy you the house you want, the car you want…WHATEVER you want, Bella."_

"_I don't want that shit, Edward. I'd trade anything for more time with you…and you know what? I did do that once and look where it got me," I replied. "Actions speak louder than words."_

"_You know…I do try and you just don't appreciate anything I do for you!" He yelled at me._

"_Oh, you are one to talk, Edward Cullen."_

"_How did we end up like this?" He asked quietly after a moment of silence._

"_I don't know." I replied._

_Silence._

"_It doesn't matter where you are in the world, Edward. I'll always be the girl you left behind in California," I said after some more silence. _

"_What are you talking about? I'm not leaving you behind!"_

"_You left me behind when you agreed to this PR slated romance with Kate!"_

"_I haven't agreed to anything. I told you I wanted to talk to you about it," he defended. "See…this? This! You never listen to me and always jump to your own conclusions."_

"_The answer will always be no, Edward. And one day you'll realize that 'no' isn't worth risking your career for. So, I'm saving us both the time and trouble. I'm moving back to Chicago. I'll have everything moved out of the apartment by the end of the week."_

"_Don't fucking leave, Bella." He was right behind me and moved his arm forward to grab my full, now fully zipped bag._

"_Don't fucking touch that bag," I screamed at him._

"_If you leave…if you walk out that door then it's over!" Edward roared._

"_It's been over. It's been over since you moved down here and put everything in your life over me," I spat in his face. "Look on the bright side. You can fuck Kate Denali and not feel guilty about it anymore."_

"_Maybe this is for the best then, Bella. I can't be with someone who never truly _ever _loved me or supported me."_

"_Fuck you, if you don't think I ever loved you then you don't know what love is."_

_He grabbed my hand to stop me, but I used all my force and pushed him, causing him to fumble backwards. I yanked the suite door open and threw myself out the door. I knew it was over for good. _

"I don't need to be taken care of Jake," I swallowed thickly coming out of my memory.

"I'm not talking monetarily," he said. "I mean, you know, like emotional support. I heard it's all the rage with the young kids."

I chuckled. "It's nice to have a good friend like you."

He just sighed.

"Date me."

"What?"

"Be with me. I want to hold your hand when we go out in public and have you wear my shirt and have you drag me to sappy love story movies and not tell anyone when I tear up when the two main characters get together."

I just laughed. And it felt good to laugh. In fact, I was beginning to realize that I felt better than I had in the last couple of years in just a few months time and I knew Jake was responsible for that.

Maybe I could grow to love him. Now that I'm not nineteen anymore, maybe I'll begin to realize that love is about having a partnership and not this undying, yearning for someone. Love isn't about being co-dependent. Love isn't about spending every waking moment together and freaking out when that is ripped apart.

Maybe we get more than one soul mate or true love. Maybe what I had with Edward was a way for me to make up for it in the future. And maybe now that I know I did everything to get Edward back…calling, texting, emailing, flying out to see him, contacting his family…didn't work, maybe I can finally move on with someone else.

Ew. Maybe Renee was right!

"Jake, we barely know each other. I made the mistake once of meeting someone and within a short amount of time becoming so entirely dependent on them I forgot where they ended and I began," I admitted. "I like you. A lot. You've made me laugh again and I appreciate that. I'd like to start off slow, though. And I need to be upfront when I tell you I'm not over Edward entirely. While I don't feel like I'm going to die without him anymore, I still have feelings that may never go away and I want you to know that."

"Bella, I know that."

"I just don't want to have a fight with you and have you be like 'Oh, is this because of Edward?'"

"Is that what he used to do?"

"NO, of course not. There was no one before him," I shrugged.

"Bella, you're willing to give me a shot, right?" Jake inquired.

I nodded my head.

"You won't regret it," he leaned over and pressed a small kiss to my cheek.

Here's hoping he's right.

* * *

**Thank you for reading and please review! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I wasn't going to post this til next week, but I got so excited by the reviews and alerts for this story that I decided to haul it and post this chapter today! So, again, thank you so much for reviews and alerts and favoriting this story. I'm still working on responding to everyone…I usually get the alerts on my phone and am at work so I can't respond right away.**

**Also: this isn't a Bella and Jacob story. It's a Bella & Edward story. And while some people might not be able to see them every getting back together considering their past…I'll just say if Bella can forgive Edward for dumping her in the woods and fleeing to Italy, I think she can forgive him for this.**

**But can he forgive _her? _Muahahaha.**

**Just kidding…have faith, please :)**

**Oh…and Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer.**

**

* * *

**

You know that feeling you get right before something bad happens? The feeling of impending doom? I was having that right now and I had no clue why.

It happened to me right before I was seven and our family's Labrador Retriever, Scooter, ran out into the road and was hit by a truck.

It happened in sixth grade when Mara Johnson told the entire school I stuffed my bra, leading Andrew Barnes to reach into my shirt and essentially feel me up when he discovered there was no said tissue in my bra.

It happened my freshman year of college right before Bree announced that she was pregnant and moving out of our dorm room.

And it was happening now.

I couldn't shake this feeling and it was beginning to really frighten me. It was now October and I was sitting in the student Union listening to Angela and Jessica plan their annual Halloween party.

"Are you and Jake going as a theme?" Angela interrupted my typing – and internal musings – as she looked up from where she was making a guest list.

"Uh, I don't know," I shrugged. "I think I'm going as Tinkerbelle and he's probably going as Michael Meyers or some dumb shit boys do."

Jacob and I were officially dating. Like, I had a drawer in his dresser-he came to our weekly Sunday family dinner-we took our first trip to Door County-we're official on Facebook (even though I don't have a Facebook) kind of dating.

And we had sex. And it wasn't awful. And I cried afterward when I slipped into the bathroom to clean up because I felt like I cheated on Edward.

Oh, that brings me to my crazy doctor.

Dr. Waters and I were tight. I still saw her every other week. Only now we don't talk about Edward so much as we just…talk. About my childhood, about my family, about Jake. I even mentioned Scooter to her once and she listened to me as I cried over my poor pooch who met his maker too young.

"Oh come on," Jessica whined. "Mike and I are going as Bonnie and Clyde!"

"Ben and I are going as Batman and Catwoman," Angela nodded.

"That whole couples Halloween is super cheesy," I brushed off.

"_I can't believe you're making me do this!" Edward whined from the bathroom._

"_Shut up and come out. I bet you look cute!" I yelled from the bedroom._

"_No way. I'm changing and we're renting a scary movie and having sex."_

"_Nothing turns me on more than a scary movie, Edward!" I rolled my eyes._

"_You got wet when we watched 'Interview With a Vampire'," Edward defended._

"_That's because Brad Pitt is on my list." I straightened my dress and turned to look in the mirror from the side._

"_Your list?" Edward asked coming out of the bathroom. He looked so cute in his Roger Rabbit – bunny outfit._

"_Duh," I flipped my red Jessica Rabbit wig off my shoulder. "The five celebrities you can have sex with without your significant other getting mad. Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt, Anderson Cooper – although I think he bats for the other team, Orlando Bloom, and, oh, James Franco."_

"_You have bad taste," Edward made a face. _

"_I picked you, didn't I?"_

"_Touche."_

"Everyone here is dressed as a team, Bella," Jake whispered in my ear.

"It's stupid," I replied automatically.

"I think it's kind of cute," Jake joked. "Look at those two. They're dressed as Simon and Paula." He pointed to some girl in a Lakers' cheerleader uniform and a guy in jeans and a too-tight black v-neck.

"Yeah, adorable." I rolled my eyes.

We had been at Jessica and Mike's apartment for almost an hour and the whole night was pretty uneventful. Ben had gotten food poisoning, effectively ending the night for him and Angela, and Jessica and Mike were currently fighting in their bedroom.

Jessica thought Mike was checking out some girl's rack (he was), he denied it (he's not a very good liar), and madness ensued.

So now poor Jake and I were standing awkwardly in the kitchen amongst drunken college kids looking for their latest hookup.

"All I'm saying, Bells," I hated when he called me that…reminded me of my dad. "Is that I'm willing to do the cheesy shit girls like."

He grinned his million dollar smile at me as I tried to keep the bile from rising up in my throat.

"I don't do cheesy shit, Jake."

Not anymore.

"_Do you want to sing 'Endless Love' or 'I Got You Babe?" I asked Edward._

"_Do they have 'You're All I Need To Get By?"_

_I looked at the DJ who clearly heard Edward ask his question. He just shook his head._

"_No," I looked back at Edward. "There's a limited selection, baby. Now pick."_

"_Endless Love, I guess."_

_I grinned, nodding for the DJ to begin the Karaoke music._

"_You're lucky I love you so much, Swan."_

"_Right back at you, Cullen."_

"I swear to God, if Mike doesn't change his ways, I'm moving back home with my parents and letting him rot in this apartment by himself!"

It was now an hour later and Jessica beckoned me into her bedroom to vent about Mike.

"I mean, who the fuck is he? Doesn't he know who I am? I'm Jessica Fucking Stanley. Do you know how many men, this week, have asked me out? He doesn't need to look at another girl's bad tit job when I have natural perky C's right here!" She started feeling up her boobs and I looked away.

Before I could respond she sighed and continued. "Anyway, what's going on with you and Jake?"

I shot her a confused look. "Nothing."

"Oh," she responded. "I just could tell by your body language that you two seemed to be in a fight or something."

"Nah, Jake and I are good," I waved her off.

"Well that's good," Jessica sat down on her bed next to me.

"Yeah," I agreed. "Good."

"But not great?"

"No, we're great," I responded with fake enthusiasm.

"I'm happy for you, Bella," she laid her head on my shoulder. "I'm glad us three girls are in relationships."

Instead of responding I just patted her head with my hand.

The knock on the door interrupted our reverie and Jake stuck his head in.

"It's getting late, Bells," he looked apologetic. "I told your dad I'd have you home by three."

Ahh, Jake. Every father's dream. He had me home on time, made sure my homework was always done, and monitored all the vegetables on my plate were eaten.

I wonder if my dad bribed him to marry me yet.

I walked into my house at quarter to three and noticed my mom sleeping on Charlie's Laz-E-Boy. The television was still blaring, so I tip-toed into the room to turn it off for her. When I turned back around to place the remote on the coffee table, I noticed she had awoken.

"Hey," she greeted me groggily.

"Still waiting up for me?" I teased. "Aren't we both a little too old for that?"

"You'll understand when you have a child one day, Isabella Marie."

"Oooh, you middle named me," I stuck my tongue out.

Renee rose from the chair. "Anyway, I hope you had fun tonight and am glad you're home safe. I put your mail on the table and there's a piece of strawberry pie in the fridge for you."

"Thanks, mom. You make a girl never want to move out."

She shot me a look before kissing my cheek and ascending up the steps to join my father in dreamland.

I walked into the kitchen and bee lined straight to the fridge. I was eating my pie with a glass of milk when I saw the envelope.

There was no return address, but I couldn't help the eerie feeling that lurked in my stomach. I knew that hand writing.

I quickly tore open the envelope and gasped when I read the contents inside.

**Save the Date!**

**Who: Mary Alice Cullen and Jasper Brandon Whitlock**

**When: July 21, 2011**

**Where: The Beverly, Beverly Hills, California**

_**Impending Doom.**_

_**

* * *

**_

"Tell me about Alice," Dr. Waters' asked me as soon as I was done telling her about the Save the Date card.

"Alice was my best friend," I admitted. "I was much, much closer to her than anyone in my entire life. It's like the moment I met her we just…clicked. She was the sister I never had."

"She's Edward's sister?"

"Yes, she's his younger sister. Their relationship kind of reminded me of Emmett and I. Maybe that's why I felt so connected to them?"

Dr. Waters made a note on her legal pad. "When was the last time you spoke with her?"

"I called her to ask her for Edward's new number. She told me she loved me to death, but I had hurt her brother and she didn't know if it would be appropriate for us to continue speaking."

"It sounded like that was hard for her to do," Dr. Waters remarked.

"I guess," I shrugged my shoulders.

"I bet you're confused as to why you received a Save the Date card?"

I nodded. "I mean, Alice and I were inseparable the entire time I lived in Los Angeles. I mean, it was literally like this weird, annoying, incestuous relationship. Her, Edward, Jasper, and I were always together when we weren't working or in school – she went to a fashion institute in Los Angeles. I went from seeing her every day to her cutting me off, too."

"You obviously were important to her."

"I was. I think somewhere in the back of my mind…I'm angrier at her than I am at Edward."

"Why is that?"

"Because…I don't know. I figure…okay, if Rosalie and my brother split, I'd still talk to her, you know?"

"But your brother and Rosalie met through you. You and Alice met through Edward. Some would say there is a difference."

I ignored that. "I wanted to be in Alice's wedding." I spoke softly and the look on Dr. Waters' face urged me to continue.

"I mean…no one _really _wants to be in Alice's wedding. I'm sure she's Bridezilla on Crack and making all of her bridesmaids go on some crash diet and color coordinate their pubic hair or something…but we…we promised each other and ugh…as stupid as that sounds I feel like she broke it. Is that weird? I haven't spoken to her in two years!"

"It's not weird at all, Bella. You didn't only lose Edward. You also lost his family and essentially part of your support system."

It was silent for a moment.

"Are you going to go?"

"I could," I replied. "I already checked. It's after I graduate, so I'll probably have some money from that…especially since Emmett still won't cash my fucking checks."

Dr. Waters' mouth twitched briefly and I could tell she was holding back a laugh.

"I didn't ask if you could go. I'm asking if you're going to go."

"Should I?"

"That is for you to decide, Bella."

"This is what my dad's hard earned money pays you for. Make my decision for me!"

"Oh Bella," she shook her head.

"I don't know what to do. I feel like if I don't go…in this weird Alternate Universe she'll be mad at me. And I will feel like I missed out on something…Jasper was my friend, too, so it'd kind of be like I was missing two events in one or something…and I would feel like he won, you know? But…if I do go…I feel like it will be awkward. And I'm scared he'll have beefed up security or something waiting to taze me at any moment. And I don't want to sit at a table with all the cousin's that no one likes and cry into my roasted duck or whatever."

"I think you going to support Alice and Jasper would be a very brave thing. Not everyone could do it."

"It'll just be so _weird _to see him. What if he approaches me and I don't know what to say? What if he _doesn't _approach me and I feel like I want to die by the end of the night? What if he brings a date? Should I bring Jake? Would that be rude?"

"I can't tell you what to do, but if you do go, I think maybe bringing your brother or Rosalie would be a better option."

"No way," I quickly responded. "If my brother or Rose ever were in the same room as Edward, they'd both choke him."

Dr. Waters laughed quietly and shook her head. "Okay, maybe neither of those people."

"I don't think I can go. I can't handle seeing him again. I can't be at Alice's wedding and see her get married and know she's a virtual stranger. I loved that family for too long for them to just awkwardly greet me as the girl they used to know."

I wrung my hands together in my lap.

"I can't see him again. Not in a wedding setting. That was supposed to be us."

"_Big church wedding or small, intimate setting off the coast of Spain?" Edward was stroking my hair as I lay in his lap. We were in the middle of an impromptu picnic in Hyde Park. He had the day off and my boss at the newspaper was on Holiday so I snuck out early._

"_You know it's not even up to us, Edward. We won't even be planning the wedding."_

"_Alice," we both said at the same time._

_It was early May now and I had officially known Edward's younger sister, Alice for four months. She was studying abroad – like me – and had been staying with us for the last two months. When Edward approached me with the idea, I didn't mind. I knew how close he was with his little sister. _

_And she and I became fast friends. She went to LAIF – Los Angeles Institute of Fashion—and when Edward and I would be moving there next month, she and her boyfriend Jasper would be just a couple miles away._

"_Do you think we'll get married first or Jasper and Alice will?" I questioned._

"_Alice will probably try and make us have a dual wedding and she'll probably plan your pregnancies together, too."_

_It was quiet for a moment. "Pregnancies?"_

"_Yes," Edward replied. "I want six."_

_I snorted. "You give birth to three, I'll give birth to three."_

"_Four?"_

"_One?"_

"_Three?"_

"_Let's see what we get. If we have two boys, I'll try for a girl. But if we get three boys, I'm closing up shop, Cullen."_

"_It's a deal, Swan."_

_

* * *

_

"I can't believe that cow invited you to her wedding," Rose was sitting on the counter of Caffiene. It was the coffee shop Ben's parents owned in Lincoln Park and my current place of employment. It was nice because I got paid more than probably was fair. I also got to work with Angela most nights and could do my homework at the counter while we were slow.

"It's a Save the Date card, Rosalie. And Alice and I were very close at one point."

"I was close to Casey Montana in eight grade, but I wouldn't invite her to my wedding."

I rolled my eyes.

"Bella, this girl…your supposed best friend, didn't contact you once when you broke up with the love of your life? Fuck her…seriously. She should have given a shoulder to lean on and a bucket of Ben and Jerry's when that dickface broke your heart."

Rose was getting animated in the middle of the shop and I had to stop her before she caused a scene.

"Rose. You're an only , you don't know what it's like to have a sibling you're protective of. Alice was trying to do right by Edward and I get it. I love my brother to death and I probably would've done the same in her shoes."

"You're defending the bitch?" Rose shrieked.

"Shhh," I scolded, looking around to see if anyone had noticed. When the coast was clear, I continued. "I'm defending her, yes, but I'm not over what happened. And for the record, Edward and I simultaneously broke each others hearts and Alice was, in a way, put in the middle. "

"But you're still going to her wedding?"

"No, I've decided I'm not."

"Oh," Rose scrunched up her nose. "Then why are we talking about this?"

"You think she's a dumb cow for inviting me," I deadpanned.

"Oh, right. She is, Bella! She _knew _inviting you would evoke memories. She _knew _you wouldn't come. She's just doing it to be a bitch, Bella!"

"That's not Alice," I defended.

"I say you go. And take Jake. And don't let him wear a shirt!" Rose cried.

I rolled my eyes.

"Or, I could go with you. I'd love to run into Edward Cullen in a dark alley."

I laughed. "So would about 90 percent of the teenage population."

Rose's phone rang and she looked at it before silencing it. "That's your brother. I'm late for dinner. Call me later?"

I nodded my affirmation and gave her a quick peck on the cheek before she walked out the door.

* * *

"Bella? What's going on?"

Jake and I were currently lying on his bed, almost fully naked, and he was hard as a rock and grinding into me. But my mind was elsewhere.

The sex wasn't phenomenal or Earth shattering, but it was a good release and I got off. Jake knew what he was doing.

But I couldn't get into it. At least now today.

Maybe its because Alice's invitation arrived in the mail last week. And it was constantly staring at me from where I shoved it in my underwear drawer. Even now, when I was at Jake's apartment, I felt like it was boring holes through my head from my bedroom in the suburbs.

"Nothing, Jake, why?" I lied.

"You're not wet, baby." He removed his fingers from me and spit into his hand.

"Jake," I pushed his shoulders, trying to find a distraction or a lie to refrain from what I really wanted to say. "Do you ever think we had sex too fast?"

"Uh, no?" He looked at me like I had five heads.

"Oh, okay."

He bent down to kiss me, but when he noticed I wasn't getting into it, he stopped. "What is this, Bella? You think I don't respect you or something because we didn't wait long enough to have sex?"

"No. I just…I don't know. Maybe we didn't know each other well enough before we had sex."

"Ooookay," he bunched his forehead together and rolled off of me, lying beside me. He pulled me to his side and tucked me under his arm.

"What is this about, Bella? Seriously?" he sighed.

I began to tear up and the rolled down my cheeks onto his stomach.

"Bella?" he lifted his head up and looked at me with concern.

"I have some things on my mind. I'm sorry…I just am distracted."

"Like what? You know you can always talk to me, right?"

I was silent for a minute before my word vomit came spewing out.

"Alice Cullen is getting married next month and I was invited and I want to go, but I don't want to go and the invitation is in my underwear drawer and it's, like, taunting me and I don't know what to do and its all I can think about and she was like my sister and I don't know what to think or how to-,"

"Cullen?" Jake's nostrils flared.

"Uh, his sister?"

"You're not going!"

"You can't tell me what to do!" I sat up on the bed and smacked his chest.

"Stay away from that fucking family, Bella." Jake seethed. I had never seen him this upset before.

"Jake…"

"No, stop!" He held his hand up. "You've told me about Alice and how much she hurt you. A real friend would've never abandoned you in your time of need. I don't want you to go and get sucked back into that mess. They both knew how to manipulate your feelings and your loyalty."

"I don't think she would invite me to her wedding to hurt me, Jake."

"Maybe not. She probably did once care about you. That was before you needed her emotional support and she ignored your phone calls."

I was silent.

"I'm not going, Jake."

"Why? Because you realize Alice wasn't a good friend to you? Or because you're afraid to see him again?"

I figured there was no use in lying. "Both."

"Damnit, Bella!" He punched the mattress beneath him.

"What?"

"I thought you were over him!"

"I told you I'd probably never be fully over him!" I defended. "But, besides that, this isn't about me being over him or not. I don't want to see him because I choose not to willingly walk into uncomfortable situations."

"Bella, it's been _three _years almost," Jake stressed. "You've been going to therapy for damn near six months. I thought we could move past this, but clearly we can't."

"Jake! This is our first discussion about this. Sorry I have a lot of things on my mind. It's not about him. I don't want to be with him anymore," I cried.

"I wish I could believe that," Jake sighed.

"Maybe we did move too fast. Sex complicates things," I sat up and got off the bed, searching for my clothes which were scattered on the floor.

"Sex complicates things? We're in a relationship, Bella. An exclusive, committed, adult relationship. Whether we have sex or not, I'm going to be pissed off that you're still into your ex boyfriend, so stop trying to make _me _feel guilty!"

I didn't respond. Instead I tried to find my bra which had landed somewhere in his bedroom.

"Where are you going?" Jake reached out and tried to grab my arm.

"I think I should leave," I explained.

He just shook his head. "It's almost four in the morning. I'm not letting you leave."

"I'll be fine," I protested pulling my shirt over my head.

He shook his head again. "Please don't leave, Bella."

I stopped all actions when I heard the sincerity in his voice. I lifted my gaze to meet his eyes and saw a mix of guilt and nervousness there.

"Okay," I conceded.

"I'm sorry," Jake told me.

"I'm sorry, too, Jake," I cried.

I sat back on the bad and he joined me, sitting behind me and pulling me into an embrace from behind. He rested his head on my shoulder and gave me soft butterfly kisses over my shirt.

"I don't want him anymore, Jake," I explained, trying to assuage his fears.

"I know. I'm sorry I doubted you. I'm an asshole." I felt like hell for making him apologize. I felt bad because this fight ended quicker than it began and I knew, in part, it was because Jake was afraid of telling me what he really wanted to say - what I really needed to hear- in fear that he would lose me.

Because he probably would because I'm crazy like that.

We didn't say anything for the rest of the night. Slowly, we descended onto the bed and fell asleep in a spooning position.

And I fell asleep feeling like _I _was the asshole.

* * *

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**Until next time...  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I'm such a sucker for angst. That being said, I'm trying to pull out of it, but I think everyone agrees it can't be sunshine and kittens right now. There will be fluff…eventually…but I think to do it **_**now **_**would be unfair to both Bella and Edward.**

**This chapter is basically kind of filler. The good stuff happens next chapter, though! **

**My internet box /router / whatever thing was broken and had to get it replaced, so sorry if I didn't respond to everyone's reviews in due time. I do appreciate every single one of them and will be sending out a teaser for the next chapter for those who review!**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I own…well, not much.**

**Enjoy and let me know what you think!**

**

* * *

**If Renee wouldn't have sent me to buy pie crust at Dominicks, I wouldn't have seen it.

Therefore, I'm blaming her for my "mini-meltdown".

It was the end of November, almost Thanksgiving, hence the emergency pie-crust run, and Edward Cullen's new movie – and first non Dave Baxter leading role- was coming out. Therefore, he was on the cover of not one, but two magazines I spotted while waiting in line at the grocery store.

Thankfully, it wasn't a Dave Baxter movie, so I didn't have to see Kate Denali and her new plastic tits smiling along with him like they were carrying on their own private joke.

So, since there was an unexpected rush at 10 p.m. with only one cashier, I opened up the magazine. You know, just to check?

I scanned the pages of the latest GQ – where, might I add, he looked mighty fine. I always thought he was beautiful, but there was something about Edward Cullen in a suit that got me going. I remember attacking him during the reception at his cousin Sarah's wedding because him in a suit made me go UNF!

And on the cover of GQ, it wasn't any suit. It was a charcoal grey three piece suit which made his eyes pop out. I don't know what it was, but something about a three-piece suit made me horny. Which wasn't fun to be in line at the grocery store while staring at pictures of your ex boyfriend and reading an article which made your heart stop.

_Edward Cullen slides into the booth across from me here at Wilshire's on Rodeo Drive and I can't help but take note he's early. He looks as cool and collected as he does in the Dave Baxter movies (the title character which gained him worldwide notoriety and made him a household name). But there's something more to Edward Cullen. He's the biggest star in the world right now, but unlike many of his peers he has a sort of humility you don't see anymore. He glances at me apologetically and shrugs, "This place is a bit stuffy. I know a great diner on Grand Avenue," and I quickly realize the man behind the name._

_He's not some self-entitled brat who thinks the world revolves around him or that laws don't apply to him. You never see him out partying with socialites or shopping at all the Hollywood hot spots just to get his picture taken. He later tells me he doesn't even know what The Ivy is; the Paparazzi -filled restaurant I had suggested we meet at earlier in the week. Instead, I learn, Cullen prefers to stay at home and "relax with his mates" or his dog, two year old Rigby, a Boxer he adopted from an animal shelter in North Hollywood. He proudly tells me he just learned how to play "Purple Haze" on his guitar and that he's been getting cooking lessons from his mother. "I'm 24 and my Mum is getting sick of me breaking into her house to steal leftovers."_

_He talks about a lot of things, seemingly whatever pops into his head, but as for his rumored love interest, Kate Denali? He won't say one way or another. _

"_I don't talk about my romantic relationships," he says over a plate of lasagna. "It's the one thing in my life I try and keep protected. This…whole fame thing [pause] pretty much ruined the best thing in my life, so I try and be extra careful now."_

_I try and press further, but he remains mum only giving subtle clues to his previous reference._

"_I don't like to complain a lot, because it's not in my character, but sometimes this whole fame thing can be overwhelming. Especially for a 21 year old kid who literally over night went from being a nobody to getting followed relentlessly. Just going to the store I usually have 20 or so Paparazzi following me. I even know some by name at this point." He laughs into his drink._

_I ask him what the biggest thing he had to give up was to which he quickly replies, "the love on my life." He pauses for a moment , momentarily unaware of his slip and then is conscious of his omission. What we know of his past is basic – born and raised London by Carlilse Cullen, a physician, and his wife Esme, an interior designer and owner of House of Esme Designs on Robertson Avenue, he moved to California in high school when his father took a job at Cedar's Sinai Hospital. He and his younger sister, Alice, attended St. Joseph's High School, a private Catholic High School in Los Angeles and after he graduated he moved back to London to pursue his acting career starring in several plays on London's west end. _

_So who was Edward Cullen before Edward Cullen was Dave Baxter? To this he responds simply._

"_I was just a kid trying to make a name for myself. I was trying to make everyone proud – my parents, my sister, my girl. I never thought that in order to get what I wanted I had to make such big sacrifices. I am grateful for my career, my fans, and the good fortune I have now. And I don't think I would ever want to give it up, but sometimes when I close my eyes, I'm 20 years old again living in my flat in London, surrounded by the one person who meant the most to me."_

_He won't give names or specifics, but in front of me I can clearly see this isn't Hollywood's new Heart Throb, half of the dream-team of Denali and Cullen, or an Oscar winner in the making. I see a glimpse of Edward Cullen that is rarely seen. The boy who would trade everything in the world for the girl he had to leave behind._

"Miss?"

I raised my head above the magazine and let the cashier see the big, fat tears streaming down my face.

"Oh, um," he scratched his neck. "Are you alright, Miss?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I choked out between tears and threw the magazine on the conveyer belt. Rosalie and I had a lot of things to dissect tomorrow.

* * *

"Do you think he means me?"

I had to shove the magazine underneath my coat in order to sneak it past Renee and into my house. Rosalie had come over the very next morning and we were discussing this as I was getting ready for class.

"Uh, obviously. Weren't you with him when he was 20?"

"Yeah, but he could mean, like Garrett or Seth, or another one of his friends from back home. Or, like, Alice."

"Yeah, I'm sure he'd give up fame and fortune to hang out with his sister every day," Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"So what does this mean?"

"Why does this matter? Why am I here, Bella? You have Jake now. Live and let be!"

"Isn't it 'Live and Let Die'?"

"Same difference."

"Okay, well this is a recent interview, right? It means he is clearly still thinking about me."

"Maybe he is."

I looked at her, urging her on.

"Okay, Bella. I love you, you know that, right?" When I nodded she continued. "But, you haven't changed your number or email address in the last seven years…"

"So you're saying if he was thinking about me he'd call me?" I finished for her and by the guilty, sympathetic look on her face, I knew that it was exactly what she was thinking.

"What if he lost his phone and doesn't have my number? Or what if…he can't remember my email? What if…"

"Bella," Rose interrupted me. "Alice knew your address to send you a wedding invite. And she still has your number, too. I think Edward Cullen is just a dick who is playing the sympathy card for all the women who gush over him to think he's a hopeless romantic."

"Thanks, Rose," I muttered sarcastically.

"Babe…I was there. I knew how much you guys loved each other…so I'm not saying this to drive you crazy or anything…"

"I know."

"Does he mention anything else in the article?" Rose pried.

"No," I sat down on my bed. I had to stop myself from pacing. "Same bullshit. He talked about the movie, and they always alluded back to Kate even though this is a different fucking movie. Like, bringing myself outside the picture, I kind of feel bad for him." When Rose arched a brow I continued. "He's wanted this for so long and now all he's getting recognition for is where he puts his pecker."

"Well, good thing you were first. I heard Kate Denali has Herpes."

I rolled my eyes. "Stop going to those gossip sites."

"But I get text alerts on my phone!"

I looked at her skeptically. "They text alert you that Kate Denali has Herpes?"

"Well…no, but still…" she blew a strand of her blond hair out of her face.

"Anyway, what I don't understand is that it's been almost three years. If he's still hurt about it, why can't he just call me and talk about it? He was always such the girl in our relationship. He constantly wanted to talk about his feelings."

"Male pride," Rose nodded to herself.

"Really?"

"Oh, absolutely."

I huffed. "Or maybe he'll just never stop hating me and when he's fifty he'll write a tell- all book and paint me as the villain."

Rose brushed me off. "No one cares about you. You're not famous. I think _you _should write a tell- all book about _him. _Better yet, sell a bunch of his shit on E-bay. That will pay off those student loans."

"Rosalie!" I cried. "I don't have anything of his anymore." I flopped onto my back.

"Stupid girl."

"Hey!"

"What? I'm just saying!"

I threw a pillow at her face.

* * *

So, lots of things happened. I quickly forgot the "Article Which Shall Not Be Mentioned" and actually began to move on with my life. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the New Years holiday's came and went.

For Christmas, I had gotten Jake tickets to see the Cubs play the Mariners.

He got me diamond earrings which were too big, too gaudy, and too not my style. Which, in turn, made me think of Edward and how he always knew just what to get me. Like that Christmas when he bought me concert tickets to see my favorite band, Hypnosis, play. Tickets had been sold out for weeks, but he knew a guy who knew a guy and ended up getting them and going with me - even though I knew he detested it. It wasn't his things, but he self- sacrificed for me.

Well, sometimes.

That time he did.

I swore I wouldn't think of him again, but then New Year's approached and I remembered the first NYE celebration in London. With him and our friends - Garrett, Riley, and Peter were his closest friends. They had been friends since childhood and they had quickly become my friends, too. I felt comfortable around them and hung out with their respective girlfriends all the time when the boys had nights out.

Then, after the New Year passed I promised myself I wouldn't think of him.

I did, though, on Valentine's Day, but that was only normal, right?

Jake and I went out to dinner and he got me the matching diamond necklace to go along with my earrings. The earrings I only wore on special occasions to appease him, even though diamond earrings could be worn daily.

He never caught on.

But things with Jake were good. I was finally in a steady, committed relationship. My parents loved him. My brother and him were best friends and they always were going to ball games and somehow merged their respective friends and would host a weekly Poker night at Jake's apartment.

Rosalie and I sometimes crashed. Neither of us knew how to play poker, but Rose had one hell of a poker face, so somehow we ended up winning several rounds.

Sometimes Jess and Mike and Angela and Ben would even join and eventually what had become a boy's night out (or in?) became this weekly couple retreat.

Dr. Waters had sensed I was doing better and had cut down our appointments to once a month. Which my parents and I were grateful for. I was beginning to move on and now realized that while

there was no doubt I would always love Edward...what we had was a distant memory and it was important to not look back on it with regret, but no, more so with admiration and love. Because I did love him. For so long and didn't want to waste all the energy I had on something that had already happened.

I couldn't change the past. I could only change my behaviors and hope for a happy and healthy future.

Speaking of...

It was now March and my parents were urging me to apply for jobs so that once graduation came I could have an employment opportunity to fall back on. There were at least - at least - thirty newspapers and magazines in the Chicagoland area. And I applied to all of them. I even applied to the local, lesser known newspapers. And have been applying since January.I even applied for jobs at news and radio stations...doing something, anything.

No luck.

"Here's something from the Glencoe Star," Renee had brought in the mail and the above mentioned envelope on the table. I quickly tore it open and scanned the contents.

"Dear Miss Isabella Swan," I read aloud. "We appreciate your submission of your resume, but we regret to inform you…UGH!"

I crumpled the rejection letter into a ball and threw it at the opposite side of the kitchen.

"A 3.76 GPA, activity on the school newspaper, _two _internships and no luck," I sat down at the kitchen table and began pulling at my hair.

"Maybe you should apply outside of Chicago?" Renee offered as she sat down across from me and sipped her tea.

I raised my head. "Like…in another state?"

"Yes, Bella," she responded slowly. "That would be outside of Chicago."

"I could…"I tapped my chin, then shook my head. "Nah."

Renee quirked a brow. "Why not?"

I couldn't think of a reason so I began applying for jobs in different states. I think I applied for a position – any position – in all 50 states plus Washington D.C.

It was almost May and I hadn't heard anything yet. Charlie kept telling me it was just the economy, Renee suggested I should "fluff" my resume, and Emmett told me to 'chill my balls' because the parentals wouldn't kick me out of the house and I should 'milk' free rent as long as possible. I just told him I didn't have balls and went to stewing quietly in my room.

A break finally came in late April. I was in class and when I walked out of the large lecture hall I had noticed I had a voice mail notification from a 617 area code.

"_Hello Isabella, this is Jamie Wilson from The Boston Herald. I received your resume online a couple days ago for our Assistant Editor position in our Books and Literature department. Call me back at 617-555-5555 so we can set up an interview! Thanks!"_

I hadn't mentioned to Jake, thus far, that I had applied for jobs out of state. I frankly didn't think I would hear back from anyone, anyway, so I decided not to tell him. I didn't want to cause a fight or hurt him for no reason. Now that I had an interview in Boston looming, I knew it would be best to tell him. I also knew he wouldn't take it lightly.

"Bella, Boston? Seriously? No…no you can't be serious."

We were sitting at Friday's, ironically on a Friday, eating dinner and I just kind of blurted it out. And I was right – he wasn't taking this lightly.

"I talked with Jamie, the director of HR. She said if they liked me I would sign a one year contract. After that, who knows? Maybe I will have enough experience to get a job at the Tribune or Times. Maybe the job market will have picked up by then," I offered.

"But you're going away for a year?" Jake asked. "Where does – where does that leave _us_?"

Good question. It had been something I had been thinking a lot lately as well. I loved Jake to death, but I wasn't sure I was in love with him…and should I have known if we had been together for almost a year now? We spent weekends and all the important holidays together. We shared our friends and had inside jokes and had sex on the regular and I was still doubting my love for him.

"This is _if _I get it, Jake," I responded. No one said I was going to get it.

"Ok, but you applied to how many other jobs in how many other states?" Jake was mildly panicking now.

"A couple…"I muttered.

"And you didn't even think to discuss this with me first?"

"Jake, I've been applying for jobs for, like, three months without a response. I didn't think anyone out of state would grant me an interview when no one in state has!"

"Bella…I have a bad feeling," Jake sighed into his drink. "I feel like this could be the end of us."

"Only if you let it," I bit back.

"Long distances are hard…"

"I _know._"

Jake flushed.

I comfortingly placed my hand on top of his. "Listen, Jake. I'm only going on the interview. Let's focus on that right now, okay? If they make me an offer than we can discuss what we're going to do, but for now let's enjoy our meal, okay?"

He just nodded and we ate the rest of our dinner in silence.

* * *

I had Rosalie accompany me to Boston for my interview. We bought our own tickets, but the newspaper put us up in a nice hotel right down the street from the Boston Herald Building. We hadn't gotten much time to explore the city at all because we didn't have time. Our plane got in at 11 am Eastern time and my interview was scheduled for 2 pm the same day.

We rushed to check in and as soon as we were in the room, I ran into the bathroom to baby wipe the post flight grime off my face, re-flatten my hair, apply another coat of mascara and lip gloss, and change into my pants suit.

Rose laid on the bed, raided the mini fridge, and asked if the newspaper would be opposed to her buying Pay-Per-View porn.

I shot her a dirty look at I was closing the hotel room door and hauling ass downstairs to make it to my interview on time.

"So, Isabella," Jamie started once we sat in her office.

"Bella," I corrected her politely.

"Bella," she smiled back at me. She was a woman in her late 30s with soft eyes and a pencil stuck behind her ear in her hair. She took time explaining about the position and what my roles and tasks would be should I be hired. She explained why the position was available and how there was much room for growth within the company and after she covered everything I thought she could cover, she began the dreaded interview processes.

"You have much experience in terms of internships and an excellent GPA. But this is all on paper. Tell me why you think we should hire you."

"Well," I cleared my throat. "Like you said, I have done two internships with two different newspapers and worked on my college's newspaper, so I know the atmosphere and mechanisms of the job. I am very driven and motivated in everything I do and pay great attention to every detail. I am reliable, hard working, and I believe I would be an excellent asset to this newspaper."

I gulped nervously and watched her stare at me, seemingly deep in thought.

"There are nights you could be here until 3,4 in the morning only to turn around and come back here at 7. Is that something you could handle?"

"Absolutely," I responded with enthusiasm.

"We are always busy and there are times there are last minute changes that could, quite frankly, be a pain in the ass. Our deadlines are daily, even hourly sometimes. Is that something you could handle?" She asked again.

"Absolutely," I repeated. "I love a good challenge and welcome it."

She nodded and then began asking me typical interview questions. Where did I see myself in five years? What can _I _bring to this newspaper that other candidates can't? She began playing different scenarios with me and taking note of my responses.

"Well, Bella," she pursed her lips together and I could feel the rejection coming on. "You come with high recommendations, the pieces you submitted with your resume showed excellent reporting skills, and you seem like a headstrong young woman. If you're interested, I would like to offer you the position so that you can start in late May after graduation. I can give you a day or two to think about it if you'd like."

"Oh wow," I wasn't expecting to get it. "No, I'll take it. I'd love to take the position!"

I chastised myself for looking so desperate, but I needed a job.

Jamie raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure you wouldn't like to think about it?"

"No," I repeated. "I would very much like to work for the Boston Globe." I sounded like an infomercial.

"Okay, dear. I will have to draw up your offer letter and contract and have it notarized, so why don't you come back to our offices at around noon tomorrow and we'll sign them?"

"Sounds perfect!" I jumped out of my chair and shook her hand. Her assistant, Melissa, led me out the doors and to the elevator.

"Congratulations, Bella," Melissa gave me a warm smile and I instantly felt peaceful and at home. Maybe this was a good idea. Maybe working here would be good for me and my chi.

I'd have to thank Renee when I got home.

I walked back to the hotel – no need to take a cab since it was on the same street – and busted through the doors. When I walked in, I noticed that Rose was laying on the bed reading a Cosmo and no doubt texting my brother.

"I got it!" I shouted when she looked up at me.

Rose immediately sprang off the bed and engulfed me in her arms. "Really!"

I nodded. "Yes! I sign my offer letter tomorrow!"

"Oh my God. Congratulations, B! What did Jake say when you told him?"

_Oh no._

"Bella? What's that look on your face?" Rose asked. "You did tell Jake…right? Before you accepted the position you did discuss it with your boyfriend of a year, right?"

_Oh no._

"He'll tell me not to take it," I reasoned. "This could be a good thing for me and he'll tell me not to take it because he's scared of losing me."

Rose made a face. "You think he'd do that?"

I nodded. "We've only been dating a year…he can't expect me to give up my life for him. Who does he think I am?"

Rose shot me a knowing look.

"_I can't renew my Visa in May unless I enroll at a school over here," I explained to Edward. "My school puts a limit on how long you can study abroad for through them and since my internship is technically counted as a semester…"_

"_We'll move back then," Edward shrugged._

_I sighed in relief. "Really? You'll move to Bumblefuck, Illinois with me?"_

"_Oh," Edward stopped. "I think we should move to Los Angeles. I mean, if you'd like. It'll just be easier for me to land a gig and they have a bunch of really good schools in the area."_

_I was silent._

"_Bella, I want to be with you so badly... I'd go anywhere for you," he took my hands in his. "But I just think moving to Los Angeles would be a better option for both of us. We can even live with my parents for awhile til we get on our feet."_

"_And you don't think we're moving too fast? We've only been dating for six months."_

"_When you know, you know," he shrugged. "You're the one for me. It doesn't matter if we've been together six months or six years, you're the girl I'm going to marry."_

_And with that it was decided. We were moving to L.A.  
_

"Come on," Rosalie swung her arm over my shoulder. "Homebody at the front desk informed me of the nightlife here. Apparently McMillian's pub down the street is an awesome bar. Let me take you for your first congratulatory drink?"

"Ok," I agreed. "I have to be really wasted for when I call Jake and tell him I'm moving for a year."

Rose just laughed at me, but I couldn't shake the feeling of more impending doom.

* * *

**Sidenotes: I don't know if job interviews for newspapers usually require multiple interviews, but for the sake of the story let's pretend Bella is amazing and landed it in one interview. Also, like I said, this is a bit of a filler chapter to get things moving along!**

**Let me know what you think…here's hoping for the next chapter by Thursday? Don't set that in stone, though it is mostly written…**

**Oh, and you might (wink) be seeing Edward next chapter (not in a flashback) if you are all good boys and girls :) **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I'm kind of nervous posting this chapter…**

**Not much to say besides thank you for the reviews, alerts, favorites, and rec's! Let me know what you think :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight…it belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I just wish I had Rob and his amazing Beastie Boys shirt…**

* * *

I came back from the bathroom and nearly knocked into a group of college kids. I half expected them to bitch me out, like was so custom in Chicago, but instead they just laughed it off and one guy even gave me a nice pat on the back.

Maybe I was going to like Boston.

When I clumsily got back to the table Rosalie was still texting with my brother. I was beginning to wonder if she ever did anything else.

"Roooose-alieeee," I sang to her, in the tune of 'Gloria', and began serenading her with songs I was making up as I went along.

I wasn't drunk. I was tipsy. And I felt good.

"Shut up, Bella, you're drunk," she swatted my hand away.

"Oh, come on…you can text my brother later," I pulled on the end of her hair.

"Bella, I me-," she looked up at me and stopped short. Even in my drunken haze I noticed her look behind me and stiffen. Her whole demeanor had changed.

"What?" I asked her.

"No-nothing…listen, I think we should go," she stood up to retrieve her coat and started putting it on.

"But, I'm still having fun!" I protested.

"No, Bella," she glanced behind me again. "Really, I think we should go."

She looked behind me again. Something was off and there was something here at McMillian's pub that had Rosalie's panties in a twist.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I turned my head to look behind me when she grabbed my wrist.

"Bella, here…"she shoved her drink at me, trying to distract me. But I wasn't drunk enough to fall for it and she was getting me angrier by the minute.

"Rose, stop!" I tried twisting my body again, but she grabbed my shoulders.

"GET OFF ME!" I roared and if the bar weren't so loud and crowded, I would've most likely made a scene. Pushing my embarrassment aside, I looked behind me, to the spot where Rose had been fixated on for the last few minutes.

And immediately I wished I hadn't. Because no less than five feet away from me was Edward Cullen, drinking a pint of beer with his bitch of a manager Jane Volturi.

"Holy fuck," I hissed at Rosalie. "What is he doing in Boston?"

"I have no idea," Rosalie shook her head. "Why is he sitting out in the open? Why isn't he in a VIP area?"

"This shittastic bar is like a 4x4. It has no room for VIP," I retorted.

"Come on, let's go," she grabbed my arm. "He hasn't seen you yet."

And for once, I let her lead me out of my seat towards the door without complaint.

"Fuck!" I stopped in my tracks. "My phone, I left it on the table."

"I'll get it," Rose commanded. "Stay. Here."

I just nodded and watched her walk back towards the table. I turned my head towards Edward's table and noticed it was now empty. I scanned the small pub inconspicuously and didn't spot him, but saw his manager Jane waiting by the men's restroom.

I pulled my coat higher up and grabbed a menu from the table beside me, trying to hide my face.

Who the fuck was I? Lucille Ball?

I peered over the menu and sighed in relief when I saw Rosalie's approaching form clutching my cell phone in her hand. She was, literally, two seconds away from me when it happened.

She slammed right into Jane.

And right beside Jane?

_Edward._

"Rosalie Hale?" The butterflies in my stomach that had fled three years ago were back. I slouched further into the chair and prayed no one would notice me…menu still attached to my face and all.

"Uh…"I heard Rosalie stutter. "No hablo ingles, senor."

"Rosalie…"I couldn't see what was going on, but I now could imagine Edward grabbing a hold of Rosalie to steady her.

"Um, no, no se? Me llamo Maria, no Rose."

Edward laughed. "You always were funny when you were drunk."

"Shut the fuck up, asshole! You don't know anything about me!"

And that's how Rosalie Hale blew our cover.

My eyes went wide and I dropped my menu, leaving it to clatter onto the table. The bar was, again, noisy, but the movement cause three sets of eyes to turn towards me.

"B-Bella?"

Shit.

I looked at Rose, who looked like a deer in headlights and I only imagined I mimicked her expression. My eyeballs were practically playing a tennis match between Rose and Edward.

"Bella?" he repeated again.

Rosalie snapped out of it. "Stop repeating her name like you rode the short bus to school, Dickwad."

He just ignored her and cautiously approached me. "Is it…really you?"

"Uh…um…uhh," Beautiful mastering of the English language there, Bella!

I hopped off the bar stool and quickly waved Rose over, signaling that we had no time for games and she needed to haul ass out of the bar.

"Stop!" Edward blocked Rosalie from joining me and gently grabbed my arm.

"Don't touch her!" Rose yelled at him tugging his arm, which was still holding _my _arm.

"Owwww," I hissed at her making her stop her movement and look at me apologetically.

When Edward began rubbing soothingly on the spot on my arm where I had suffered the damage, I yanked it away.

"Don't you _dare_," I seethed.

"I'm-um, I'm sorry," he stammered.

"Bella," Jane pushed her way through Edward and extended her hand. "It's a pleasure to see you again."

Really? A handshake?

I took her hand. "Nice to see you again as well, Jane."

"So what brings you to Boston?"

"Work."

"Oh, so what is it you do now?" she was kind of yelling over the loud music.

"Reporter." I figured one word answers would suffice.

"Oh, how wonderful for you! You are from Boston, right?"

That heifer knew I was from Chicago.

"Nope, Chicago."

"Oh, well what a small world!" she slapped her knee. "The rest of the Dave Baxter series is being filmed in Boston!"

Okay, someone up there really must hate me. It figures the day I finally put on my big girl panties and find a real job falls on the same day I run into Edward Cullen – again – in some seedy no-name bar.

"Oh, well," I stammered looking at him for the first time since this whole debacle occurred. I should have noticed…he was in full Dave Baxter form. His hair was the perfect length and oozed sex. In fact, I loved tugging on it when he went downtown…which was often because he _loved _doing that.

Oh, um…

He had a stellar body. Dave Baxter was a part of the FBI and had to have a killer six pack. You know, for those times he just _has _to rip off his shirt during the Miami heat. Anyway, that meant Edward Cullen had to have a killer six pack. He was a bit scrawnier than Jake, but I had always loved Edward's body – whether he had six pack or a beer belly.

And the scruff? Oh…that scruff. Many a time I had to wear skirts after he went down on me because the scruff from his five o'clock shadow turned my thighs raw.

And I loved it.

I now realized I was pretty much salivating at the mouth, recounting the oral pleasures from one, Edward Cullen, and looked back to three curious sets of eyes.

"Enjoy your stay in Boston," I squeaked out and internally berated myself for sounding like a travel guide at the airport.

"Rosalie, Jane," he turned to the two of them. "May I have a moment alone with Bella?"

This was it. This was the moment I had been waiting for, for three years.

_Closure._

And suddenly, I didn't want it. I didn't want us to be over. If I never got closure, I never had to fully move on.

"No!" I yelled out before my brain could filter myself.

"Please?" Edward turned to me.

"It's, uh," I scratched the back on my neck, like an excuse was suddenly going to come to me. "Uh, well.."

"It's a new city and Bella and I promised ourselves we wouldn't separate from each other," Rose finished for me.

"You'll be with Jane and Bella will be with me," Edward argued. "Five minutes."

"And what happened when all she wanted was five minutes, you fucker?" Rose spat in his face. "Your cow of a sister and dick of an agent couldn't even give her your new number so she could talk to you! So, no, we'll talk on our terms!"

Edward ignored her and turned to me with a confused look on his face. "What is she talking about?"

"I'll tell you what I'm talking about," Rose continued, not even giving me a second to intervene and respond. "My best friend was going to go against everything her mother, grandmother Moore, and grandmother Swan taught her and beg your ass back, but you changed your number and no one would give it to her. She took a red-eye flight to California and your agent, Twatface McGee, slammed the door in her face when she arrived at your old apartment! Oh, not before threatening to sue her for stalking! She's been in therapy for almost a year because of your-"

"Rose!" Ugh, facepalm. My best friend was spewing my most embarrassing secrets and while I understood why, I needed her to shut up.

"Oh," she flushed. "Sorry." She looked at me sheepishly and shrugged one shoulder.

I only looked at Rose. "Now that I want to _die _of embarrassment, can we go?"

Edward's hand shot out blocking her and I from each other.

"Bella," he turned to me. "Five minutes. Apparently there's been a bit of a mis-communication."

"You had you-," Rose shut up when he shot her a dirty look.

"Thank you for being her spokesperson, Rosalie," Edward hissed. "But, she's an adult. She can speak for herself, thank you!"

"I don't think it's a good idea," I sputtered out nervously.

"Please?"

"I don't know…"

"Bella, there's things we need to say. Things…I need you to know."

"Write her a letter!" Rose shouted.

"Why don't…"Jane turned to Rose. "Rosalie, was it?" Rosalie rolled her eyes and nodded. "Why don't we go get a drink and meet you two back at the hotel in twenty minutes?"

"No way," Rosalie protested.

"Ok, these Mama Bear instincts are cute, but give me twenty minutes," Edward tried to compromise.

"I _have _to be her Mama Bear," Rosalie pointed to herself. "She has no one else." _Ouch. _"Well, maybe Jake."

Rose smirked to herself.

Edward's face scrunched up and looked my way. "Jake?"

"He's-."

"Her boyfriend!" Rose interrupted. "And he'll kill you, so I'll grab a drink with Jane and play nice, but hear me now, Cullen. I'm in law school. I know big name lawyers. I could kill you and get off scot-free!"

Face palm. How did I never notice how embarrassing she was?

"Duly noted," Edward rolled his eyes and pulled out his wallet. He handed Jane a $50 bill and we both watched as she – and a reluctant Rosalie – walked towards the bar.

"Shall we?" Edward gestured for me to begin walking.

"Where are we going?" I asked and then stopped in my tracks. "And you know, you never once asked _me _if I wanted to talk to you."

"I'm staying at the Four Seasons," he ignored my last statement.

"Lead the way," I gestured for him to pass ahead of me and he grabbed my hand, causing me surprise.

I pulled my hand free and warned him. "Don't."

"I was 'leading the way', Swan."

"Stop that," I shoved him roughly.

"Stop _what?_" He shot me a dirty look and rubbed his arm where I had just shoved him.

"Stop trying to hold my hand and call me by my old nick name. Stop trying to pretend we haven't spoken in three years. Stop trying to have such familiarity with me."

I could tell he was having an internal battle with himself. I knew Edward and I knew him well. I knew who he used to be and three years without contact wouldn't change it.

I knew he wanted to put me in my place and tell me to stop being such a heinous bitch. Especially after spending the last three years having 'what if's' hang over my head. But he wouldn't, because it would get us nowhere, and Edward was always, admittedly, a little bit more mature than I was.

When we stepped outside, there was a black SUV already waiting for him. He opened the door and gestured for me to get in, so I did, and placed my purse in the middle seat so that he wouldn't be on top of me, like I knew he probably would've tried to do.

"Four Seasons, Mr. Cullen?" The chauffeur asked and Edward nodded his head in agreement. From the rear view mirror I saw the driver look me up and down, taking in my outfit, and waggle his eyebrows.

_Ew._

I've been around enough men in my life to know what he was thinking. He was probably thinking I was some bar slut Edward picked up, throwing his celebrity status around to get some pussy for the night. And secretly I wondered if that was who Edward _was _now.

And then more word vomit when I noticed the driver still looking at me. "Eyes on the road, douchebag!"

Edward groaned into his palm. "What the fuck, Bella?"

"Tell, this fucker here to stop looking at me like he wants to fuck me! And stop cussing around me like you know me."

Edward laughed. "I do know you."

"No, you know the old me."

"I know all of you and your personalities, Bella," he teased.

"Stop it! Stop with the familiarity." I shrieked at him and he stiffened besides me.

Not many people know how Goddamn adorable Edward is. How he has that dry, witty British humor and him teasing me and telling me jokes always calmed my nerves.

And it was working now…sort of, but I still had my guard up and was blocking every advance I could. How dare he walk into my life three years later and pretend everything was fine? That we were dear old friends and he could call me 'Swan' and I would call him 'Cullen' and we'd make up instantly!

The rest of the ride to his hotel was silent. It only took a couple minutes from the bar, but I needed to get the hell out of dodge.

"I'm not going into your hotel room," I told him as we walked into the hotel.

He glanced around. "Bella, I'm not sure there's much privacy elsewhere."

I couldn't tell him that if I went to his hotel room, there would be a slight _slight _chance that I'd forgo talking and pin him to the bed. My cooter missed his peen. And it was a perfect penis, too. It was not too long – maybe seven inches…average?...but it was thick and always hard and it curved slightly…not too much and it wasn't too noticeable, but it hit my g-spot every fucking time. When Edward and I had sex, I usually always had a g-spot orgasm and a clitoral orgasm. The bed was usually one, big ass wet spot and I'd usually wake up wrapped in an Edward Cullen-ball _in _said wet spot. Then I'd get up to change the sheets cause the smell was vomiticous, and then we'd end up fucking again effectively ruining two sets of sheets-

"Bella?" Edward snapped a finger in front of my face and I hated myself.

I hadn't talked to him in three years and he wanted to give me closure- finally- and set the record straight…he finally wanted to give me the breakup I deserved. I knew he did, because Edward Cullen is a very jealous man and the thought of another guy even speaking to me made him upset, yet he didn't bat an eye at the mention of Jake.

Anyway, so I'm getting what I want…what I need…and I can't stop thinking about his cock.

Oh, wow, but it's sooo nice…

_God, I'm so inappropriate._

"Bella, you're worrying me…"

"Lead the way, Edward."

We reached the 34th floor and made our way to Edward's suite. I couldn't shake the sense of déjà vu…of being in another suite with Edward Cullen…in another foreign city.

"I-I-I don't know where to begin, Bella," Edward took a seat in one of the plush ivory chairs in the suite's sitting area.

I just stood. And didn't respond.

And couldn't hold back tears. GOD FUCKING DAMNIT!

Edward shot up like a pistol. "Please, please don't cry."

He wiped away the tears, which were now streaming down my face, with the pads of his thumbs and offered me a crooked smile. The smile I loved so much. The smile that I knew was genuine. Not that big ass cheesy smile on the cover of billboards or in magazines.

"I didn't…I didn't want to," I choked out in between sobbing fests. "I have been waiting for this moment for three years and it's going exactly how I didn't want it to."

We were both silent, urging the other to speak first.

He took the bait.

"Bella," He began slowly, still holding onto my face. "I know what I'm about to say is going to ping your bullshit factor, but I swear to you…I'm being truthful."

I looked at him with wondering eyes, silently pleading him to continue. He sighed and removed my face from his hands and gestured for me to sit.

I watched him pace the floor as he began. "I didn't want to let you go. I never meant for you to walk out that door, but it was something I had been thinking about for awhile."

He paused and tried to gauge my reaction before continuing.

"A week before you came out to see me, I got a terrifying phone call from Irina Stolov-"

"The girl who plays Maggie?" I interrupted, confused.

"Yes," he nodded. "Some dumb rag magazine printed an article that we were together…friends with benefits or something and that I wanted more from her. It was bullshit, of course. I was with you and even though you still might not believe me, I was never unfaithful to you. "

I nodded from him to continue.

"She and I share a publicist – you met her I believe – Sharon Cope? Anyway, not important…it was Sharon's birthday and Irina and I were at some mall in Miami picking out a gift for her and some sale's girl sold a fake story to gain publicity to her store. When Irina flew back to LA the following day after the article was published, her house had been defiled. Someone wrote on her garage 'Stay Away From Him Whore' and she was getting threatening mail and people were mailing her voodoo dolls and it was a mess."

"Wow," I breathed out. I had met Irina a few times and she was such a nice girl I couldn't help but feel horrible for her.

"She ended up having to sell her home and move to escape the rabid fans who were threatening her," he explained. "When she called me, I immediately thought of you. Living alone. If anyone knew the truth about us…I didn't want you to get hurt."

"Why didn't you tell me at the time?" I asked him.

"I didn't want to scare you or put any ideas in your head, I guess," he shrugged.

"And that's why you let me walk out the door? After two years, Edward, really?"

"I had to leave you to protect you. I wanted you to have a normal life. I didn't anticipate the stardom or level of fame I had acquired and I needed to protect you."

"If-if you would've just explained that to me…I would've tried to understand."

"I did try to. You were so caught up in the whole Kate Denali thing you weren't even thinking clearly."

I didn't know what to say, so I just apologized.

"Bella, you were the single greatest thing to ever happen to me. Before I met you I was living off my parents, barely working, drinking all day. I had no hopes or dreams or cares in the world. I wasn't depressed or anything, but I was just living to pass the day," he smiled weakly. "And when you came into my world…I spotted you from across the bar and as cheesy as it sounds…I just _knew. _I knew I had to get off my ass and do something…be someone. I knew a girl like you deserved more. I guess I just realized that after two years, I couldn't be more. Being with you saved me, yet I couldn't save you. Save you from ultimately experiencing the intrusion to your life. If you would've ever gotten hurt, I would…I-I-I, well, frankly I don't know what I would've done."

"But I _did _get hurt," I cried out. "Edward, you hurt me so badly. By letting me walk away…you hurt me. By…_pretending_ to care, by _pretending_ to beg me to stay…that hurt me then and it hurts me now."

"I was conflicted, Bella. I wanted you to go, but every time I envisioned you walking out the door, I'd say something so that you would stay. I wanted you to hate me because I didn't have the guts to turn you away if you would've come back to me. That's why I asked Alice to not speak with you any longer. That's why I changed my telephone number. I needed you to have a normal life. I needed you to go back to school and move on with your life. And I knew if you had called me, or came back to the room and asked me back, I would've run back to you. And I knew if that would've happened, it would've only hurt you."

"But you wanted to keep the relationship a secret and now you're telling me this was all…a rouse to get me to leave?"

"I'm such an asshole," Edward rubbed his face. "I used the only thing I knew that would offend you and ran with it. But then when you kept accusing me of cheating on you I got so pissed off."

"I thought you were," I admitted. "Now I know you weren't."

"Thank you," he quietly said.

"So, let me get this straight," I said, "you had planned the fight? You knew that by asking me to have a secret relationship it would piss me off? You knew that?"

He nodded.

"Because you wanted me to have a normal life?"

He nodded again.

"Well, fuck you Edward! I didn't have a normal life. I was miserable! My parents think I'm a fucking nut job and sent me to therapy. My mom practically printed out an ad in the yellow pages begging any boy to date me because I was so fucking broken after you and I broke up! I'm not the same girl I used to be and it's because of you!"

His face twisted in pain, but this time I didn't feel bad.

"I would've rather had a dumb delusional bitch, who thought you and her were destined to be together, stab me in the chest over the pain I suffered these past three years. Not only did I suffer the pain of losing you, but I lost your sister and Jasper and your family. You know how much they meant to me, Edward! All because you wanted me to be normal!" I seethed. I got in his face. "And the pain of thinking I wasn't good enough for you? That you didn't want me? Well fuck you. Thank you for this meeting because now I know that I'm better than you because never in a million years would I ever hurt you or cause you the pain I've suffered, Edward!"

I pushed against his chest, trying to hit him, when his arms reached out and grabbed me.

"I'm so sorry," I saw that he had tears in his eyes now.

"It's too late," I tried to wriggle out of his grasp. "Edward...you said such horrible things to me. You-you accused me of never loving you. You made me doubt myself..."

"I'm sorry," he repeated. "I was so conflicted during that fight. I wanted you to stay... to move to be with me, but I also wanted you to leave and never look back. I wanted more for you, and I wanted to piss you off, but at the same time...I never wanted to let you go. I'm such a fucking hypocrite and I realize that, but God...I wanted so much more for you than what we had. And I knew you couldn't wait until the series was over, nor did I want you to. I didn't want to make you wait for five years! I just...don't...we...I never though things through and it ended up hurting us both."

"You made me think horrible things about myself. You made me…think you were using me."

"What are you-how was I using you?"

"Come on, Edward. I couldn't even stay with you in Miami because we had rent to pay."

"No we didn't," Edward looked confused.

"Oh, really? The bills can't pay themselves without income."

"Bella…what are you talking about? The studio was paying for our bills monthly per my contract…"

"What?" I was freaking out.

"As a part of my contract, for not being paid up front and taking a portion of the movie's earnings, the studio was paying our bills monthly…rent, car, food…why, why do you have that look on your face?"

"Edward, no one was paying anything," I protested. My heart was racing and my palms were sweating.

"But James-."

"Oh, my God, you negotiated with your devil of an agent? Oh God, Oh God, I think…I think I'm going to be sick…"

I ran into the nearest bathroom and puked up everything I had drunken at the bar, plus the dinner I had eaten. Edward followed closely behind me and held my hair for me while I emptied the contents of my stomach in the porcelain bowl.

"They weren't paying?" he whispered and I gained my bearings and sat beside him on the bathroom floor.

I shook my head no.

"Is that why you wouldn't quit your job? Because…because you were paying for things?"

I nodded.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I figured you knew! Why else would I work that shitty job?"

"You honestly, _honestly, _believed I would let you bear the burden of all that?" he turned to face me and grabbed my shoulders. "God dammit Bella. You should've come to me!"

I opened and closed my mouth several times, but no words came out.

"The rent…the bills…was more than…and I didn't…" he stammered out and because I _knew _him, I knew what he was trying to ask.

"Emmett. And Rosalie," I admitted.

"Holy fuck."

"I didn't want to burden you."

"So you burdened your brother and best friend?"

"I couldn't ask my parents and you didn't want to ask yours…"

"I told you I never wanted my parents to have to financially support me again, but if I would've known you were struggling…holy shit, Bella. You did all that? For me?"

"For _us_."

We were still sitting side by side on the cold tile floor of the bathroom.

"How much?" He questioned.

"Huh?"

"How much do you owe them? Your brother and Rosalie?"

"Like…$5000," I cringed.

"Give me their checking account information and I'll deposit the money tomorrow," he said.

"No," I waved my hands in front of my face. "No…this was my mistake. I-."

"Bella, this was not your mistake! I don't know what the fuck happened, but-"

"I know what happened," I interrupted him. "Movie studio and Agent Boy didn't want the new star of their series and future International Golden Boy to have a girlfriend. And they certainly didn't want to pay for her. James knew our situation…he knew I was living in the apartment. You were taken care of, you had a nice suite and well, you really had no bills anyway. The movie studio gave you a phone and whatever you needed, so they decided they'd make me suffer…to make me leave you. Ha, little did they know you were planning stuff all on your own."

"I don't think-."

"Don't even defend it," I dismissed him.

"I'm sure there was a communication error."

I snorted. "Stop being so naive."

Silence.

"Do you think…maybe if…the truth would've come out sooner, we could have…saved _us?_" It was the question I wanted to ask all night.

"Probably not," Edward admitted.

"Oh."

"I would've fired James right away," Edward continued. "But, I was too concerned with your safety."

More silence.

"I don't think I'll ever get over you," I quietly said into the room. I was admitting this to him because I had long ago admitted it to myself.

"I wish…oh God, Bella…I wish," his voice got shaky and I knew that he was most likely crying again.

"For what it's worth…I'm sorry for everything, Edward."

"I am, too."

"I'd say let's be friends, but that's unrealistic," I looked at him from under my lashes. "Right?"

"I can't be just friends with you, Bella."

"And we can't be together." It wasn't a question. "Am I'm not sure I can ever fully forgive you. I can, in hindsight, understand it, but I just don't think I'll ever forget how you made me feel."

He made a strangled sound. "I figured you couldn't."

I didn't know why I was about to tell him this, but I figured he should know. "I'm also with someone now. Romantically. He's a great guy…you'd like him."

"Doubtful," Edward muttered and then turned to me. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because," I sighed. "I…I think found someone who won't hurt me. That's what you wanted, right?" I bit my lip and waited for his reaction.

"No, Bella, that's not what I _wanted._"

"For what it's worth…if it's worth anything at all, I still love you." I didn't know what else to say and as horribly inappropriate as it was to say that now, I felt it was the only appropriate thing to say.

"I still love you, too, Swan."

* * *

**A/N: OMG OMG…I know, right! James is a dick…but you smarties probably saw that coming.**

**We're almost done with the angst. Maybe one more chapter of it? Two, three tops! But she cannot just forgive him so easily, right? I mean, she kind of does in this chapter, but they can't give in right away…plus there's Jake and all, but we're in a new city…so things can happen ;)**

**I promise you all a HEA, okay? I'm the biggest Team Edward girl ever, of course I want to see these two together!**

**Next chapter is EPOV immediately following this scene...**

**Anyway, review and let me know what you think!  
**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Again…much love for the reviews and alerts and favoriting! We're almost at 100 reviews and I'm verrrry excited! **

**My internet at home is very shaky right now for some reason, I'm thinking of getting another provider. Maybe a Clear wireless adapter thing? Anyway, this is the reason I couldn't send out teasers or replies to reviews…because I've had NO internet besides on my phone, and well, that doesn't work out well...just because I didn't have access and I'm actually posting this right now from the library…I hope I can do it with this next chapter.**

**Here's a little glimpse of what Edward has to say…**

**Once again: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I own nothing. **

EPOV

When she walked out of my hotel room later that night, she looked so forlorn, so beat down. So unlike the Bella I knew and loved for so long. And I hung my head in shame knowing I had made her feel that way.

She asked me to accompany her back, but I felt like hopping into my pajamas, crawling into bed, and sleeping for the next 100 years.

The reality of the situation sunk in.

The girl I loved, the girl I needed, the girl I thought about every day of my life was here in town and would be for an extended period of time. I did the math already – I knew she must have either recently graduated or was still about to, so her time in Boston had been short thus far. I also knew that I had arrived here a week ago and filming would begin on the next two movies in May and last until November.

Boston was a random city. She wasn't from here and I certainly wasn't. Production had to be moved from Miami to Boston because of the way the book proceeded and they had originally picked filming in Michigan before this last minute change.

I couldn't help but think maybe the universe was trying to tell me something. It had to be fate, not a coincidence, that I would run into Bella again.

Right?

Ugh and how I missed my girl. She looked the same and the familiarity of her clung to my heart. Her hair was a bit shorter and her face was a bit more mature, but she was still the same. She was still my girl even when she wasn't.

To say I hadn't thought about her every day since we parted would be a lie. Because she was the only thing I thought about.

I had been too much of a coward to call her and apologize. To explain I never wanted to end things and that as cliché as it was, hurting her hurt me more than it did her. In the days following our breakup, I could barely get out of bed. I dodged all calls. I kept contact with people at a minimum. I hardly showered, barely shaved, and once in a blue moon remembered to change my clothing.

Alice and I weren't on speaking terms for six months. Jasper later let it slip that she cried herself to sleep for a good two months after I had basically forced her to cut off contact with Bella. That confession made me feel like horse shit and I felt like I was back to square one.

My parents were upset with me. My mother, in particular, worried herself to sleep that I was 'losing my way'. My grandmother told me I was a dumb arsehole and that Bella was a nice girl who obviously deserved better than me.

I could only agree with her.

I spent weeks, _months, _in a comatose-like state. I hardly ate or went out. If I went out with my mates, I was usually smashed by 10 pm and too fuzzy to feel anything. I had no emotions and like some psychotic serial killer, I kept her picture in my wallet and the photo of us in front of the Eiffel Tower as the background of my telephone.

I dreamt about her. I wrote in my journal about her. Yeah, my journal...it has a black leather bound cover and is very manly. I'd even call her home phone number anonymously a few times just wanting to hear her voice, but Charlie answered every single time. Once I heard her in the background asking Renee a question and my heart nearly beat out of my chest. I ended up ending the call and throwing back a couple shots of Vodka.

Once I got out of the alcohol-binging phase, I tried to actually make amends with my family. Alice and I had been, for the first time in her entire life, on the outs and truth be told, I rarely called my family. I knew my fall out with my family was my fault and I definitely knew the reason Bella and I were no longer together was my fault. So I did what I knew best back then…I focused on my career, spent 360 damn days a year working, and didn't do anything that reminded me of her.

I definitely didn't date nor was I dating Kate Denali. Everyone knew she was dating one of the cinematographers, but we had to keep that hush-hush until the series was over. I didn't know where these stories about secret date nights and romantic getaways came from. Every time I read something, I cringed, and secretly hoped Bella either wouldn't believe it or remind herself it was all for publicity.

After the third movie came out this past March, I had thought about calling Bella. The hype had died down a bit and I saw how easily Kate could manage her relationship with Sam. I wanted to call her so many times to explain things…to apologize…to perhaps persuade her to give us another shot, but I never could.

Call me a coward, because I am, but the thought of rejection debilitated me enough that I couldn't pick up that telephone. I was a coward and a liar and an idiot for sure, but I was also human. I was young and inexperienced in _everything _and wanted more for her. Back then it didn't matter if I provided the best security on earth for her, I didn't want any part of her private life ending up on the internet. I had seen the information people could get. Within five minutes they could have her entire family's history uploaded onto their sites and not that there was anything in there, but I couldn't do that to her.

But that was back then, before I knew how to play the game. Before I knew I could make 'deals' with the Paparazzi and hire the best lawyers on Earth to magically erase certain information. Before I knew how to protect what was mine and who I loved.

She had to be okay and at the time I knew the only way that was possible was if she were removed from this life. I was naïve. I thought this could be the beginnings of all of our dreams, but you never truly know what it is like until you are on the other side. In the last few years with the emergence of picture phones, twitter, and facebook, it was damn near impossible to escape from privacy evasion.

But I think the main reason why I neglected to contact her during all those months apart…was the fear she would have moved on with her life. The fear she had gotten over me…that our relationship meant more to me than it did to her. I didn't want to get closure because that might mean it was finally over.

I should've known something was fishy when a prostitute named Carla showed up at my door and said she was a gift from James about a week after Bella and I split.

I just shook my head in confusion and slammed the door on her.

I knew my agent and manager were a bit cautious of Bella. I knew that they wanted me to go the Leonardo DiCaprio, Johnny Depp, Robert Pattinson route of 'Heart Throb' to 'Serious Actor'. I just _was _naive enough to think this was all a misunderstanding.

"James," I seethed into the phone. I glanced at my alarm clock in the hotel suite and noticed it was midnight, but James was in LA and it was still 9 o'clock there. Not that I cared.

"Cullen!" James greeted into the phone. "How's Boston treating you? I bet you had some nice East Coast pussy to welcome you."

Ugh, I should have known.

"I have a bone to pick with you," I started in on him. "How the fuck could you do that to me? To Bella? I trusted you to take care of my girl and you didn't."

"Woah…Edward. I have no clue what you're talking about!"

"Oh really, so you mean you _were _paying for the apartment and our bills when I was in Miami filming the first Dave Baxter movie? You mean you never made Bella work overtime to scrape by? To make her resent me and push her out of the picture?"

"Is that what she told you?" James laughed. "Oh, Edward. Come on. You're the hottest thing right now and you have more money than God. She's scamming you, man!"

I rolled my eyes. "That's not Bella."

"Sure, sure," James replied. "That's not her. I'm sure you're right. She doesn't have student loans or car payments or anything she might need a couple extra dollars for."

"You're fired James."

"Come on Edward! You know I'm right. Everyone knows how much money you're worth, it's about time for some bitch you were fucking to come out of the wood works-"

"Don't you _ever _talk about Bella like that again or I swear to God I will slander your name and make you non hire-able." I threatened. "And believe me James, you just lost me, so you're going to need your good name."

"Ok, ok, Edward," I could tell he was nervous. He should be. I made this man a millionaire in two years time. He needed my 10%.

But he wasn't getting it.

"I admit, maybe, I kept some things from you, yes, but it was for your own protection. I couldn't have you going off and marrying this broad without a prenup and losing all of your money!"

"Money has never meant a thing to me."

"Ok, well let's say Missy gets pissed and slanders _your _name and you don't get acting roles anymore? She seemed like the type, too, man."

"I don't need roles. Or money. I've only ever needed her."

"Sure, Ed, sure," I could hear James rolling his eyes over the phone.

"You're fired." I repeated my statement from earlier.

"Fuck you man, I made you a millionaire!"

"No you didn't," I scoffed. "I made that money on my own."

"I got you that role!"

"You got me the _audition. _I landed the part. Listen, it's time for me to start making wise decisions and this is my first one. I don't need anyone in my life or on my team hindering my life."

"Oh, come _on_."

"Goodbye, James." I pressed the end button on my iPhone and threw it on the bed.

Ok, so step one is complete. I fired James. Now the inner workings of my brain were going crazy. What does this mean for Bella and I? She told me she still loved me, but what does that really mean? Was it a romantic kind of love or a, like, we were together for a long time you will always be in my heart kind of love?

Because truthfully? I was still absolutely out of my mind in love with that girl.

I should probably be a better man and let her move on with this new idiot she's dating.

Okay, he's probably not an idiot, but still.

I knew Bella and I knew she was stubborn. I knew _if _she forgave me it would take weeks if not months.

Probably months.

I was betting on months.

If she ever took me back? Hell that could take years.

Jane strolled through the door moments later, breaking up my thoughts, and giving me a knowing look.

"Oh, Edward," she sighed, taking a seat next to me on the sofa.

"How were drinks with Rosalie Hale?" I joked. "That girl is still the biggest pain in the ass I've ever met in my life."

"I got lots of funny stories about you. Give a girl a Redbull and vodka and she'll sing like a canary," Jane chuckled. "Did you really streak through your neighborhood after losing a bet?"

"I didn't know Bella could eat more tacos than her 300 pound neighbor, Gus! There was just no fucking way! He was training to become a professional eater for Godsakes!"

"Ahh, Bella," Jane sympathetically patted me knee. "What are the odds?"

"Not bloody likely," I muttered.

"So what are you going to do?"

"Nothing? She has a boyfriend and she's…" I gulped. "Happy. I guess."

Jane snorted and repeated my words. "Not bloody likely."

I gave her a confused look. "What?"

"Blondie says Bella is miserable without you. You know, once you get her back, you should really advise her to pick friends who don't have enormous mouths."

"What?"

"What?" Jane shot me a confused look.

"You think I should try and get Bella back?" I questioned. I knew I wanted to, but I was out of my right mind and didn't know if I should.

"Jesus Christ, Edward," Jane slapped my face. "Yes, I do. Now, I'm not one for romantic love myself, but there has to be a reason why you ran into her tonight. Plus, I'm sick and tired of seeing you mope around all the time like someone stole your puppy."

"I really love her."

"I know. It's sickening."

I pushed her shoulder softly. "Come on, Jane. Even an old maid like you has a soft spot."

Jane shook her head. "I do. It's going against everything I was taught during my internship at Metro & Meyer, but I think you should do what's best for _you._ So what if some people freak out and boycott your movies? Evidence has shown you draw enough numbers to indicate you have a stable fan following for your _work_ and not your personal life. Congratulations, kid, you're getting there."

I raised my eyebrows. "What happened to my rough and gruff manager?"

Jane waived me off. "Ok, this very well could be the three shots of tequila talking, but you're beginning to rise above this teeny shit. You're thisclose to becoming a bonafied movie star and no one will care if you're dating Kate Denali. Matt Damon and George Clooney are both with regular women."

Who knew _Jane _would be the voice of reason?

I slung my arm around her shoulder. "I like you drunk."

"Well don't get used to it."

"I fired James."

I heard Jane gasp. "What? Why? Edward, he was close to getting you a part in the new Batman movie!"

"He's a slime and a creep and there are surely better agents than him."

"Edward…I don't think that was-."

"Did you know he wasn't paying our bills while I was filming the first Baxter movie? Did you know everything in that contract was going un-fulfilled. Did you know I could technically sue him for breach of contract and clean his ass out?"

Jane shook her head. "I didn't know that, no. Is that why Bella…?"

I just nodded.

"Oh, Edward, I'm sorry."

"Whatever. It's not like I need an agent. I get 30 scripts sent to my house a month."

"Edward, you need an agent."

I huffed.

"Listen, we'll get Marcus Fairchild. He's the best in the business. Perhaps the transition from Heart Throb to Leading Man will go smoother."

"Sounds good."

Jane nodded and got up from the couch. "I'm going back to my room, but here." She pulled out a piece of paper from her bag and handed it to me.

"What is this?" I asked.

"Don't ever say I didn't do you any favors."

With that she left the room and I flipped the paper over so I could read it.

**Bella's # 312-555-3455**

**The Hilton Hotel**

**Room 2331**

**

* * *

**

I couldn't call her or go see her. Something was physically stopping me – I just knew it. So, like the pussy I always was, I texted her.

**Hey…it's Edward. This is my new number. Call me if you ever need anything.**

I sent the message and immediately felt like a douchebag. Three years too late, Dickface.

My phone buzzed in my hand and I retrieved the incoming message.

**Thanx.**

Thanks! Just thanks? No, 'Oh Edward! Come to my hotel room and ravish me!' or 'Oh, Edward, I love you too much to stay mad at you! Let's elope tomorrow.'

I shook my head. You fucking fool.

Tapping my chin, I tried to think of something clever to get her back, but after an hour of sitting in the same spot, I couldn't think of anything.

I was pacing the floor when my cell started to ring. I nearly lost my footing trying to run to the phone.

"Hello?" I panted into the phone forgoing looking at the caller ID.

"Edward? What's wrong? Why are you out of breath?" _Alice._

"Fuck Alice, I thought you were Bella," I sighed.

"BELLA?"

"I ran into her yesterday, Alice."

"Edward, this is big news and you're telling me _now_?"

"I'm sorry. I've been like a walking zombie. Not knowing what to do…what to say."

"What happened? What did she say? How did she look? Did you guys get to talk at all? Is she mad? Well, of course she's probably mad…but is she _mad _or _upset? _Did she say anything about me? Did-."

"Alice," I groaned. "We talked yes. We talked about _us_ meaning Bella and I. You were not mentioned, no."

"So she didn't mention if she was coming to my wedding? I sent her an invitation, like, eight months ago…"

"What?" I gasped incredulously.

"What?" Alice repeated.

"You sent Bella a wedding invite and this is the first I heard about it?"

"I told you…" Alice paused. "Didn't I?"

"No, you certainly did not tell me," I yelled.

"Sorry…oversight," she sighed.

"Pretty fucking big _oversight_, Alice," I seethed.

"Well, I don't think she's coming anyway," Alice defended.

"I'm sorry," I apologized. I knew it wasn't enough. I knew it wouldn't ever be enough. I knew my sister like the back of my hand. She had been my best buddy and confidant for the last 23 years. And when I hurt Bella, I hurt Alice. And I hated myself for it because they were my girls and I loved them more than anything.

"It's okay, Edward," she replied in a small voice. "You're my blood. I'm always on your side."

"None of this should have ever happened. You should have your best friend in your wedding," I muttered to myself.

"Well, technically, I don't have anyone in my wedding," Alice snickered. She and Jasper had decided they wouldn't have a wedding party. I think it originated because Alice didn't want any of her 30 Sorority Sisters to get upset, but I know it's because she had wanted Bella to be up there besides her.

"So, what's Bella doing in Boston?" Alice pried.

"She works here now, I guess. I didn't get many details," _Cause I'm a prick. _"But, I don't know. She has a boyfriend."

"She doesn't love him," Alice said with certainty as if she knew Bella still and continued on with the conversation. "So what does she do?"

"She's a reporter and what do you mean she doesn't love him, Alice?"

"She loves you. I know these things."

I just roll my eyes. My sister thinks she's some sort of mind reader / psychic.

"I know she loves me. She just doesn't trust me. And I don't think she will again."

"We'll just see."

"We'll see?" I asked.

"I'm gonna help you get her back."

* * *

**I know a lot of you hate Edward, which is fine, but people make mistakes and lord knows how stupid and naïve some people (men) can be.**

**I hope you liked it. Next update will be _probably _next Thursday or Friday. I will send out teasers for reviews…I'm sorry I couldn't last update, but I'm going to get this internet thing resolved ASAP!**

**Next chapter will have lemons. I can't say if they're past, current, future or imagine, but they are not between Bella and Jake…so if you want a tease of it, please hit the review button!**

**See you all next week! **


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